i never placed my trust in anyone,
til the day that i met you.
you caught me open.
and now im bleeding.

i dont know why it happened,
some things just don't have a reason.
now i carry these scars.
for everyone to see.

i never had a perfect flawless body to begin with.
these scars are nothing in comparison to __;
my heart melted.
and its trickling. away.


(c)-tsukiyume2008

fuck my weakness,
fuck my pride.
fuck the world upside down,
fuck it all.
















































tell me what's a girl to do when her heart is broken but she daren't tell anyone? tell me what's a girl to do when she has broken her guy's heart and can't fix it again? tell me what am i to do, because i'm the one who'd done all those? i'm despicable, aren't i? just because my heart is broken it doesn't give me the right to break others, am i not wrong??? but i just had to test the water, to feel what it's like. i know i've never died before, but... am i such a schadenfreude? i don't even know what i'm doing. am i really that stupid? do i not know where the line is, for others, the line for pain? have i not drawn it out long ago? or has the standard went up by a whole full 5 notches?
i'm sorry i offered you a shattered heart in exchange for the whole heart... i'm just probably a stupid dumbass who is destined to be a loner, outcast...

i tried to be the best i could, it just wasn't enough. i'm still trying. trying to be someone everybody likes. i have never stopped. i guess i'll never be accepted by society, will i? it's a fact that i'll have to accept it sooner or later. there's no point in delaying it... jeffrey tells me that whether u live life happily or sadly, the outcome is still the same. so live life happily. i'm trying to be happy, i want to be happy, i wish to be happy, i yearn to be happy. ... but nothing'll work right?

i'm a freak.

and i'm bloody freaking sorry. it'll never be enough. nothing will.