This is our fate, I'm yours.

Today has been a rather crappy day overall. Though I met up with Darling, it was quite short amount of time.. And plus the fact that I promised my mom to have dinner at home, so... I had to leave him first \: .. And if I defied my mother, he wouldn't have missed his bus stop and be stranded on a freaking highway now... It is so totally my fault... Also that I kinda borrowed some money from him... If I didn't he would have enough money in his wallet ~__~ I feel so .... ...

I don't know why, the past week (and also currently) flew by in a blink of an eye, and I don't remember almost everything. It's like Hey, what did I do this week? Hmm, today's Sunday?? OMG?! *remembers remembers* The week is... is already gone? that kind of thing... \: I guess it's time I penned down all my bottled emotions. And because of that song, I decided on my autobiography. Fear not, it will not be boring. My personal editor is Darling :) And... I'll be starting the 1st part of my autobiography later.

Devastation tore through her like a rogue missile, numbing it to reality.

You look so beautiful today; when you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away.

Hey :) I know my blog has been so-so dead. xD That's because I've been to busy studying, going out and gaming at the same time ^__^v And also been quite lazy to finish decorating all the pictures ~_~ Especially the quarter-2e4o7 outing *__* But I'm doing, T__T sigh!

[EDIT]
Damn... The photos aren't uploading! :( :( :( The server's down tonight I guess T__T Just when I was in the mood to do this... *stomps off, cursing*

self professed; profound;.

"So what do you plan on doing now?" The voices echoed in my head.

I shrugged. "I'll just play by ear, I guess. There isn't much I can do, can I?" I mumbled. For a moment, I stopped dead in my tracks. Indeed, they could be harsh at times but they keep me awake. Back then, juggling many things was my forte... However the tables have turned and I am struggling.

"You can forget about keeping your other persona." A gentle yet unfeeling voice purred.

My other persona..? I sighed. It was evident that I could only handle two lives, and no more than that. I refused to believe it, for a year now, and the consequence of rebelling is huge.

"Don't bite off more than you can chew." Another voice hissed.

How many times have I heard this warning? A leopard never changes its spots... "This is bad," I muttered. "This nauseous feeling that keeps coming back..."

It made me sick, made me tired... The rogue missile of devastation that keeps coming back at me, a heat sensor attached to it... Or rather, a hell havoc wrecker after me.

"Fight it, you know you can. Just remember your limits..." A single, steady voice slowly ebbed out of my head. "And yes, you have to remember to stop talking to yourself in public."

last year's wishes are this year's apologies.

I don't know if it's overwhelming happiness or just the effects of consuming esctasy.
And if it was a dream I'd love to never wake up.

Sorry I don't know everything you want,
Sorry I can't be everything,
Sorry I thought I could,
And sorry for everything said and done.



- - -


I went to the zoo today with a quarter of 2e4'o7 :D it totally rocked please. Mr Chong was like so tired at the end of the day. =x And the white tigers were really really lovely. ^__^v
I'll post up the pictures later.

What if I be the one who takes the blame? What if I can't go on without you?

What if you were given 10 minutes,
What would you do?

What if you were given another chance,
What would you do?

What if you were given a wish,
What would you wish for?

What if none of this happened at all,
What would you be doing now?

What if I said I love you ...
..
Would you break my heart?

i can't live if living is without you.

It's okay if nothing's left,
It's okay if things get high and dry,
I just want you to know,
And this you must hear,
That I mean it when I say,
I love you.

i've been waiting here by the phone.

I can don't see him for 2 days.
I can't don't see him for more than 1 week.

I can don't talk to him for 20 minutes.
I can't don't talk to him for more than a day.

I can don't sms him for 2 hours.
I can't don't sms him for more than 4 hours.

I can don't think about him for a second.
I can't don't think about him for more than 30 seconds.

I... I can't be without him.
It's still... very far away from the 24th. ...

Darling please call me :(
Even jeff tried =x
Please :(

when you call, my heart stops beating. when you're gone, it won't stop bleeding.

._.
i realised how nolife my holidays are. there's not a single bit about me going out to have fun. isn't that such a wonderful, fruitful holiday? of going to school and nolife-ing on the comp because i'm too tired to go out after studying? *shrugs*

i am such a nolifer~ i have to be proud of it. ._.


*runs into a corner and crys*


haha okay, not so melodramatic =x but seriously.
T_______________T "nolifers pwnxzxz"


crappyshit :(

will you be watching the same sunset as me? :(

darling will be flying off at 12 tonight. :(
i am missing you so much already! >.<
come back quick though you already told me 24th march :( :( :(



somehow this reminds me of 'sky of love'. review here.
"I want to be the sky so I can see you wherever you are." -Hiro

also, darling told me to smile for him before he left.

T______________________T

p/s: he just told me he forgot his winter clothes. - - .. sobs.

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *crys*

heavenly days

:(
darling is going to china for more than a week! the thought of not being able to see him for like oh so long is probably going to kill me :( 2 days already so sad, i can't think of what, 7 or more days? omg :( :( :(
i'm gonna miss my darling like mad luhs.. T_______________T

T______________________________________________________T!
._. i love you.

just like the way we do when it's 9 in the afternoon.

... and so I ran.
I ran with my bare feet against the cold snow to remind me that the same coldness is hidden in my heart. I ran until my lungs were about to burst, I ran until I could find no more path before me. I ran hoping I would find you in the end.
What a fool I've been.
There has been nothing here but emptiness.

As the gentle autumn breeze find its place in my hair, I close my eyes and smile.. For a moment I thought it was your gentle touch, your lips whispering words of tenderness... however it was nothing but the wind taking away more of me.

Looking up to the sky I glance back to see the crimson trail I've been leaving behind.. Fuck, I hate this weakness.
After a deep breath I decided I shall not miss anything in this life; I shed my skin and give myself in to the darkness that so gently calls my name. It embraces me with its long strong arms and holds me so tightly against it that I lose my last breath crying out your name in pain.

But you'll never hear it.




i believed in us.


*


I was broken.

I ran with my bare feet against the cold snow. I ran until my lungs were about to burst. I ran until I could find no more path before me. Escaping from reality seemed to be the sweetest way out after you broke the truth to me.
Indeed, I had been the fool all along.
Misery loves me.

Collapsing onto the unfeeling, icy cold ground, I felt warmth. I closed my eyes and smiled... only to be brought back up in your warm arms. Like a beautiful lie, I slapped you hard in the face. No, I don't want to be taken away any way, anymore.

You pulled me into those arms with such a warmness I had never felt in such a long time. Gently, I gave in to my weakness and cried.
Those tears flowed so freely I literally became a sobbing wreck. I let my guard down and give myself to you. For the second time in my life, I place my shattered heart and broken trust into someone whom i believe can fix me. I lost my breath crying out your name in pain..


This time you heard it.



Don't ever let me go.

o1o1o8;o448

am i far enough to make you miss me?

that kinda hurted.. i'm already trying so hard.
you didn't have to stab me there, where my heart used to be.
..

you know I’ll be there for you.

i've been gaming for the past two days, and my ingame level is like, 34 now. but i won't be able to keep playing -_- maybe yes on the weekends :( feel so :(
and :) i love you boy. thank you for everything:D (as per usual) i really don't know what to say :o i feel just as blessed as you ^__^v

(what a fuggly retarded post. must be the lack of sleep. but i really love justin :D)

You look so beautiful today.

It is amazing how the world can still go on when your world has caved in once again. Despite having met with the same event, the way to deal it has been long forgotten, as if an ancient way. The reason why we learn history, is because we do not want to make the same mistakes. But has anybody really learnt anything from it all?
You can try to guard the [perfect] idea, freeze and frame it, so hard that you ignore all the scratches on the surface and look right through them as though it were really perfect. But how long, can you keep it guarded? Why do you feel as though you need to keep score or gain the upper hand?
It is only a matter of time, before you realise that you've overlooked and tried to ignore that one chapter of your life. Whatever empowered you to think about this all, well, you've just simply come to terms with yourself and what really happened, because there are some things in your life you can forgive but can't forget.

an extract from one of my weirdest stories ever. i feel like... o__o; because my stories have never sounded like that. anyhow. i think that this is how i can express it most in words. i've lost all powers to pen a poem anymore.
it's much better showing than telling anyway \: at least that is the freedom i gain in writing prose. :i
no, there isn't any hidden meaning in this. i'm just... expressing my thoughts and all now. *smiles weakly* there is nothing to hide. nothing.

* * *

Brenda & I didn't want to go to school today again. Don't know why. But I guess going today wasn't such a bad choice... Except for the fact that it was REALLY cold. & we forgot to bring our jackets. *__*;
A.Maths - We weren't too cold at first, so things just went on as per normal. Yay, Janson sat in front of me again... Can disturb him... LOL
SS - As interesting as ever. My SS teacher so totally rocks please. :) She always has a story to tell us ^__^v and they're always so entertaining luh. :-o
Chinese - A sudden wave of sianzationess lapped over all of us... Ohmy. :-o but as per usual, Adele, Joei, Brenda and occasionally Veronica would try to distract the teacher into doing something else... And today they succeeded. Very well. ^__^v

Recess - Nothing much -__- I had quite a boring recess today. Don't know why.. Just felt so off. Maybe because it got really cold and froze me half off. :-o lols.

Chemistry - Oh my godo, I don't know why today's lesson lasted like, FOREVER. Maybe it's because teacher squeezed 2 chapters into 2 periods *__*; and started screaming again @__@;
Lights - Same old boring lesson. Izzuan went super crazy luhs. Kept disturbing Brenda & me. ~__~ Finished my tic-tacs and dropped a few water babies (from my handphone thingy and Brenda's) inside. Lights lesson is super boring please.
E.Maths - Nothing much covered today because teacher was busy doing the admin. stuff for maths. Like the SingaporeMathsOlympiad and remedials. Oh woots mansxzxz. Syazwan thinks he is Mas Selamat. -__- Seriously, I don't know him =x ^__^v
English - Oh, my favourite lesson since I don't need to do much studying ^__^v Brenda & I kept laughing luh. Damn Izzuan and Janson... And the water babies lmao. It suicided! And we laughed our heads off lmao.

Lunch - Pretty much as boring as Recess. *__*; sigh.

SST/Remedial - Spent SST in the library crapping with Brenda, Cheryl, Adele, Joei, Edsel, Charles and Galton. I pity Galton today. -__- Don't know how he studies with the whole table making so much noise lol. Haha. Remedial was crap. Like chinese lesson because it was chinese lesson.

Overall, today was a pretty much ok-ok day. Haha. Laughter is the best medicine I guess. Brenda said I was crazy today. \: It's not like I'm crazy everyday. I mean, seriously. I've never laughed this much in school -__- Maybe it's because of something else I don't know inside me like, it's dying or something. \: At least I no-lifed in school today, occupying me with useless things. Oh yeah, so fun...

p/s: My sec3 camp's in Changi/Bukit Batok. Like wth?? There's a terrorist that was last seen there, and my school's going there to camp?? What is wrong with everyone? The sec3 cohort isn't, over my dead body, going to catch some terrorist and be on the front page of the newspaper you know? I am so not going. There's a terrorist on the loose and we're going to camp. Like wootsxzxz.

L wants candy

L wants candy!
The lip sync part is just awesome.
i like his smile at 1.45 zomg :-o
Enjoy! :D



p/s: he's just so hot cuz his lips are those to die for ones. yeaps. *_* hehe. it's a fact isn't it? :}

leave the past in the past, gonna find the future.

i didn't want to go to school today. but i thought about brenda and -_- went to school. because if i didn't go today, she would skip school on another day and leave me to rot in class alone. LOL.
and brenda told me she didn't want to go to school today too. adele wasn't in school today, so if both of us didn't go to school, that would make 4 absentees in class, including fareha. even though it wasn't planned the teacher would suspect that we skipped school today but yeah, that isn't the case. see, we are good obedient students. *beams*
so, for rewarding myself, i treated myself to hokkien mee. :) with brenda. though we skipped some workshop thingy it has been a long time since i ate it *_* hehe. so yeah, i'm still eating now. :) the chilli rocks! =x


oh yah... ms rita gave us an english comprehension to complete today. and there was this funny statement...
"Ah Cheong, the next zoo icon..." *looks at alvin*



@Jes:
orh okay. *_* dont take any offense though. i'm just stating what i see without going in depth because i'm not supposed to know, i think. but... what do you mean by "doesn't even know the basic things about God"..? o: (no underlying meanings, but uhm, i'd like to hear from you :) ^^)

hearts around the world are on fire tonight.

:)

happy 6th monthsary to my dearest fwb, ily ;D
happy 2nd monthsary to you&me=x

and because today was our 2nd month, justin and his father whipped up a feast. yeaps, i just finished. the feast looked like those you'd find in restaurants, with a huge chicken! omg, you know i can't handle chicken so uhm, i just ate the little piece by the side =x oh and the mashed potatoes were like so, sdoginsrohmytiannasraourbga wonderful.
the cabbage was pwnsome too :D hmm, like his father said, it was the sausage that pwned us, because it contains 35% fats, making it quite a filling part of the dinner. also, the mushrooms were sooo nice! i dunnoe why got 2 different colours de o_o but yeah! those were the button mushrooms! the edible ones for me :) as i only eat button and enoki mushrooms :)

yeahyeah, now i forgot what i wanted to type. hehe.


I LOVE L PLEASE :D i mean i love kenichi. hehe.
but then.
i love justinian more pl0x. he's like, mine. :}
mine pl0x. xD