Tuesday, July 29, 2008

one step at a time;

i stole this from alvin-the-retard-tortoise's blog. so cool. (though i only read the english part.)

To My Friends Who Are Single
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are Attached
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.' It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are Playboys/Playgirls
Never say 'I love you' if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when all you do is lie. The most cruel thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways...

To My Friends Who Are Engaged
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are Married
Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.' Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here.' Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.' Not 'I' wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.'

To My Friends Who Are Heartbroken
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are Naive
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are Possessive
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are Afraid To Confess
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are Still Holding On
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to
find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he/she isn't worth it now he/she is not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.

there comes a time when every bird has to fly; at some point every rose has to die.



go listen to The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved


Feels like the weight of the world
Like God in heaven gave me a turn
Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you
Still in the dark, can you fix me?

Free fall, free fall, all through life.

Feels like the weight of the world
Like all my screaming has gone unheard
And oh, I know you don't believe me
Safe in the dark, how can you see?

Evanescence - Weight of The World


Alright. Swamped with so many things with so little time. ._. I guess NJRC research stuff can be put aside for a while. I hope I will be able to breeze through tomorrow's trigonometry test. I do wish I had a little more time to finish up my geography project.

It doesn't sound like it's a lot of things to do, but that's only on the surface. Thing is, my job in the geography project is near the conclusion areas, which coincidentally and surprisingly, is a little bit related to that research topic. And it's getting a bit irritating because it's a lot of English paraphrasing thingy and etc.. Roar.


This is just a short update. \: Because if I start to do my blog, God knows when I'll have time to complete my work. <_< i'm not that pro)

Still have a lot of pictures in my phone and oh well.


Qutub went crazy today. Don't ask -_-v because I don't want to elaborate :}


August is almost here! Life has never been so sweet.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Saturday, July 19, 2008

They call me 'quiet girl', But i'm a riot, mary jo lisa, always the same,

gosh, it might be tonsil infection... let's hope not!

anyway... been looking at people's blogs... :) here's a pretty difficult blogquiz jeslynn tagged me to do D: she's making me hurt my brain now. T_T have fun ~~

It's harder than it looks!
Copy and paste to your own journal, erase my answers, and add your own.
Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
They have to be real places, names &/or objects, and nothing made up!
Try to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same 1st initial.
You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.
And Have Fun With It!!!

fyi, my name starts with a D. T_T


2) BOY NAME: desmond.

3) GIRL NAME: demetriel.

4) OCCUPATION: diplomat :D

5) A COLOR: denium. (really!)


7) BEVERAGE: dreamsicle punch (really! it's a drink in bars!)

8) FOOD: donuts! (i pwn.)


10) A PLACE: daytona beach :x

11) REASON FOR BEING LATE: drawing your ugly face :x

12) SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: dumbfuck! (pwntyourass!)


I tag

1) soranokira (who HAS a blog, knows i have one and reads it)
2) justin (who also HAS a blog, knows i have one and constantly reads it)
3) veronica (coincidentally OWN a blog, know i own one too, whether she reads it, i don't know)
4) brenda (who HAS a blog, knows i have one, don't know if she reads it)
5) you? (if you bother)


waiting for tomorrow to come so i can do something about my throat.





Monday, July 14, 2008

we are beautiful, no matter what they say.

wow. nobody passed the previous test. :x i shall make another REAL one :D but...


you must do the previous test before doing this one. :x heh heh heh... *evil laughter in the background* fweee.

don't worry, to those who have failed... i still love you! xD i understand how hard it is to pass... *tsk tsk and shakes head* (clue: i am lactose intolerant~)

Create your own Friend Test here

if you fail this... *nothing to say* <_< i guess this time i really dig into whatever things i never really told anyone :o coolio. but if you use common sense sure can pass one la. : D good luck!

this is just to entertain people so i don't get scolded for not updating my blog heh. :D

Sunday, July 13, 2008

shawty had them apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur. :D

heyho! nothing else better to do! i don't know why people like to make such quizzes, maybe they're just too bored or they want to know their true friends, oh well who cares! i'm freaking bored! :D so i shall make you readers do this! muahaha.

Create your own Friend Test here

Friday, July 11, 2008

when i grow up i wanna have boobies, careful what you wish for, cuz you just might get ;-o

Sometimes, I don't know why people like make trouble out of nothing. It's as if they have nothing else better to do, or they just want to spite someone. Or maybe it's just because they like the attention they're getting for commanding this 'army' of people to go against that person.

It just makes me laugh, like literally laugh. You'll think I'm some kind of sadistic freak but no. Put yourself in my shoes and view the fight from the outsider's view, outside the box... It's ridiculous, imagine this:

I seriously don't know what's going through your mind because I'm not you and you're not normal person! Besides, you don't let anyone know about your problems, how do you think anybody would know what you feel?
One last thing, please take a look in the mirror before trying to shoot anybody because it's just so damn stupid!!

response 1: (doesn't even try to fight back, instead decides to act as if nothing has happened)
response 2: What has this got anything to do with you? Why do you even want to understand the way I handle things MY way? It won't benefit you so just stop bothering! You also take a look in the mirror before shooting anybody okay! You're just as stupid you know! Because it takes a stupid to know a stupid, stupid!

Isn't it just so damn funny? Makes you just wanna laugh at their mindless quarrels that brings them nowhere, because 1) aggressors usually just win people over directly without any foundations 2) victims usually tries to win their own people too without any foundations 3) they go to battle and nobody wins unless somebody intervenes 4) most of the time both parties make me laugh.

Mind you, I'm not directly insulting a particular someone but rather, at all the stupid people fighting. Maybe it's just me who thinks like this because I don't bother making friends >_> But look at it from an introvert's point of view - all these fights waste whatever little time you have left on earth.

You never know when the world's gonna end, and if all lives were to be claimed at once when you were busy fighting, I'm gonna laugh at you in your face. All these fights doesn't you benefit anybody in anyway! It's not as if you're fighting this out in court and blahblahblah. Since you want to fight so much go become a lawyer and then you can fight and feel that rush of joy when you win the case in the other person's face.

So my point is... People who cause trouble from nothing are basically stupid people who have nothing else to do.

Go ahead and flame me on your blogs then, go tarnish my image because that's what I'm expecting from all you brainless people :D Oh what joy; instant fame <3

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

'cause it's nine in the afternoon, and your eyes are the size of the moon.

TODAY was just a pretty odd day. i left the house with janet jackson song stuck in my head, went around school with marie digby's 'say it again', and headed home with '9 in the afternoon' by panic! at the disco. ._. yeah i know it's just plain old `panic at the disco` without the ! mark anymore :(
i managed to watch wanted! and this leaves me with hellboy II and hancock. mmm. i want to watch 10 promises to my dog again. seriously, it's the only show that made me cry. -_-v~~
so anyway. i'm getting scolded for not updating my blog! gosh! alright here's the update you wanted! which reminds me. i've got a story to tell. :)


I remember the day started off pretty well. Like any other normal day, the only dreaded item was my bag. As I headed off to school with all my science and math books, i received a text message from an unknown number.
'Hope you trip and fall and break all your bones! Your pathetic existence is not needed on the face of this earth because bitches like you deserve to be fucked and murdered!' it read.
Rolling my eyes, I sighed and wondered what I'd done to deserve this, because all I did was to make friends. I slipped the phone into my pocket and walked to school.

Today could also be counted as one of the best days of my life. She was finally talking to me! Or at the very least, acknowledging my existence. Deep down inside, this inexplicable bubble of joy burst and if it were in a cup it would be overflowing. I have never felt this happy ever since three years ago.
When she excused herself, I continued with my math question but somehow, all ability to answer the question just died. I looked up and watched her get pulled away by a group of girls...

I do have a few friends, and when I say 'few', I really mean 'few'. Raise up your hand and put down one finger, because that is the number of friends that even know I exist. What would you do if you were me - Would you die? Would you create a wall around yourself? Or would you bravely soldier through this with these four friends?
As I was leaving the classroom after classes, I heard her voice outside. Deciding not to interrupt her conversation, I stepped behind a wall and inevitably overheard her conversation.

"Why're you hanging out with her? Is she better than us?"

"No! It's not that!" She defended. "I just happened to be talking to her!"

"She's nothing but a trouble! She will be your friend in this moment but in the next, she'll backstab you!"

"You don't even know her, so why're you making false accusations on groundless evidences? She has been your friend for two and a half years now, fuxdamnit. If you think you're any better than her, go take a look in the mirror."

It went so quiet outside for a moment I thought it'd ended, so I walked out of the class briskly, as if nothing ever happened... but just when I stepped out, all I saw was their faces...

Hi, I'm Vanessa and I'm 15. Seriously, somebody. Tell me what I've done wrong...

What if I lead the way?
What if I make mistakes
will you be there?
What if I change the world?
What if I take the blame?
will you be there?
What if I change the world?
What if I lead the way?
What if I be the one who takes the blame?
What if I can't go on without you?
What if I graduate?
What if I don't?

done and dead, and proven my worth, there's nothing more to be said about this
reality or dream? things just changed into a state of bliss
i guess apologising will never be accepted, but trying doesn't hurt
so let me take this chance to take afford me comfort

sorry for thinking i could do it, sorry for trying to be what i'm not
days&nights i've tried to be, but all my efforts led to naught
putting on the face that gets me through the day, it is but a daily affair
it's the kind of dream you can never awake from - it's my living nightmare

the gaping hole in my chest is filled with nothing but you
and if it's you that i'd hurt, tell me what am i to do?
oh, such wistful eyes, a fragile tale it brings along
tell me now, truthfully, to where and whom do i really belong?

They all tell me to stop wallowing in self-pity, get a life and move on. But what they don't know is, it hurts to move on. "Change is the only constant in life." Go fuck this sentence yourself! Nobody knows how I feel because nobody even bothers!
I wish I could go back to where everyone was, where nobody cried and nobody lied. If only I could find somebody who understands me, who knows how I feel, because I'm lost. They say that you'll find the light at the end of the tunnel but I don't see the light for my tunnel.
When I crack a joke, I start to feel down. When I emo, I start to fall apart. When I cry, I start to crumble. When I lose control of all I have, I start to lose myself. & I already have lost myself.
I'm really sorry, I couldn't keep your promises. I tried to change myself but nobody appreciated it. I tried to be someone else, but nothing seemed to change. I'm at a loss. I've tried. Hell...

Hi, I'm Demetriel and I'm 17. I think I'm going crazy.

Is there really no way to express my grief?
Without any thoughts of how others'd think.
Too accustomed to the lies i continuously weave,
Things happened too fast; as if in a wink.

Will there be a day where i'll no longer be needed?
Or maybe even forgotten by all.
Have i already be casted & unwanted?
Is anybody out there'll who'll answer my call?


After all that's been said and done, at the end of the day we all realise the same thing - that we are all the same. It is the way we handle things and emotions differently that makes us unique. There's nothing I can say, nothing I can do to help you there, because ultimately it is you who will turn the tables around and make the best out of everyday.

Why are you all quarrelling anyway? What is there for you to quarrel about? Is it over some petty issue, like who's better and who's dumber? Maybe it's just me, but I can't seem to see what's so great about you guys to fuss about. If it is a quarrel that you want, do it in a much more mature way. From my point of view, this is total entertainment because I've been through what you have and if you want a minute to talk to me about this, go ahead! Because I've got a whole damn forever of minutes to spare to you! :)

What are you all being so sad? What has caused you to ponder over for so long? I'm not saying that you can't be this way, or that it's not good for you blahblahblah, because all I'm saying now is that you've got to be strong and stayed focused on whatever that's ahead of you, even if it is the simplest task like going to school.
Everybody has their own way of handling sadness and I've absolutely no right to ask you to do it THIS way or THAT way. Whatever it is, I do hope that you will sober up and stay strong because if I can make it through the fall, you can make it through too. I'll be waiting at the end of the tunnel for you. :)

Now. If I told you the world was ending soon, would you behave like that?


You certainly wouldn't right? Take a look around - the world is dying, and so are we. Nobody knows just when and where would we end so... as everyone knows, 'live everyday like it's the last day of your life.' And live it to the fullest... Be what makes you, you. :)

Thursday, July 3, 2008

here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama. fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama llama DUCK!

200th post since 23rd august 2007. hmm, not bad uh. :) i might've reached 200 posts quite a while ago; just lazy :x

short update because i'm going to eat dinner! (hearts) do visit farawayinthisparadise.bs, nice stocks but quite little, do support :)
haha. i lazy to press anymore buttons. :x