i fake a smile so he wont see

i am really too depressed. i refuse to update any of the happy shit that i went through in the week. i dont want to because i am too sad to be pretending to be happy. im really too tired and weak from acting. i need to see gerald now. NOW. omg.

I never meant the things I said To make you cry; Can I say I'm sorry?

shit happened.

i don't want to take her stuff. now all i have to do is to say one word and i have it. it was a mistake... i should never have walked down that path. curiosity killed the cat. now i don't know what i'm feeling. this year's christmas seriously stinks...
am i too nice..? i have been giving her all she wants. she's been pampared too much, too spoilt. people tell me i have to be selfish at times.. but i can never do it. i'm the kind who will give in to you if you ask. and the kind who always worries very easily about you. apparently after building these qualities for six years, my efforts paid off... and shit happened.


I DONT KNOW.
I REALLY DONT KNOW.
STOP FORCING ME.
I DONT WANT TO STEAL HER STUFF.
BUT I REALLY REALLY
....


....



[edit because of ray]
wow he kissed me sia~ omg~~~ so happy yayayaya. whatever ...
sorry ray my mood is super bad now but i will try to act with whatever i have left in my strength today.... i hate this.