if i gave you this box of awesome nothing, would you go away?

it's another leap year. isn't it like so cool? :o i like the science behind it.
it's 29th febuary today.

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i know it has been 10 days since i last updated my blog. i haven't really had time to take care of my life. ~.~ sigh. it has been a long time since i bought anything for myself, and had a proper rest of at least six hours. meh. i'm really tired.

it's been a long time since i had a dream. it's been a long time since i actually touched my comp to do something i want. it's been a long time since i had anything nice to eat.

i want to get away.

i want to.

fly.

away.

because i can't seem to be able to let go,

to let go,

of.

my pride.

have you ever been alone in a crowded room when i'm here with you?

i promised the pictures from my v.day celebration with justin.. here they are~ don't be jealous =x


{ i agree with justin that mine was one of the biggest bouquets. he said it costed near 3 digits or 3 digits alre, x__x!


{ though they're just 2 presents, the rest of the surprise was wonderful. :]


{ this is what's inside the smaller present :] i can't bear to eat it!


{ this is what's inside the bigger present :] OMG SIBERIAN HUSKY SOFT TOY



{ the remnants of the bouquet. it's still surviving! (1 more rose at the other side of the vase~)



{ a white rose for my love. :]




{ highlights of the vday concert in church! zomg:]








happy belated v.day to all! with no sugar added!



The Echoing Origins: From the Heavens Above

A gift from God, a newborn child,
A sunflower in the field, waiting to bloom.
One day soon, she's gonna grow up,
Into a wonderful woman who will do His works.

A work of God, a little girl,
A daisy in the pasture, looking for the sun.
It's inevitable; she's gotta grow up,
Into a marvellous woman who will praise Him forever.

A masterpiece of God, a fine young woman,
A red rose in the garden, in its fullest bloom.
Today will be the day she unites with her love,
She'll have a family who will serve the Lord eternally.

A woman of the Lord; her mission accomplished,
A lily in the meadows, awaiting the final judgement.
As the casket grey skies pours forth so freely,
She will now, once again, live and reign with the Lord.

-Tsukiyume


* * *
got this, on my 2nd try. :]
see i am such an avid computer user.

to all the people out there who dislike me (why am i even posting this?)
it's your problem if you want to, because i don't even give two hoots about it. there's only two things you need to know about me, that is, i do not practise 'hate' and i will not disturb you if you don't disturb me. i find no need to talk about any specific person here as this is to the general public. say all you want about me because frankly speaking, it hurts me in no way. you're probably just jealous of me (i don't know what either) and you just want to be like me (cuz i have something you don't?).
you can hurt me all you want, you can try to humiliate me, but you can never take away what makes me, me. i stand in the name of the Lord, and i am trying to do His works everyday. you can stop from doing anything, you can try to bring me down, but you can never stop me from doing what i yearn to do, to love and to praise, to worship and to seek, to be everything the Lord wants me to do.
say whatever you want, i shall not bother to retaliate, because in doing so, you have just revealed your weakness.

i am speaking pure english here; neither flaunting my english nor bitching around (as what you call). at least i don't twit. :o i am just stating my stand here, try to beat me at my game and you'll prove your worth.
flame me on your blog, whatever - i feel that my blog should not be dragged down by such a subject. :)

your problem for infatuating on something you shouldn't, and then later getting angry and confused, resulting in having to insult somebody who doesn't even care about what you say. (and now you're saying to yourself 'i just typed it for myself~' but who cares.)


besides, are you sure you even know him? :)

on a side note...
i don't really have time for this. it's up to you to read it as an insult, or as an advice. just to let you know, it's not your time for something like that yet, so just wait. i waited for seven bloody years yeah. so stop wallowing in your self-pity, get up, and walk. you're bound to meet someone someday. He knows it's not time yet.

that's when i love you, i love you with all my heart.

justin brought me to celebrate valentine's day yesterday :] i still trusted him not to scam me -__- lol. i shall tell the story once again~ since so many people asked me...

we were supposed to meet at 6.15 at vivo at earle's but i didn't make it in time. so we decided to meet at candy empire. he said he was there but i couldn't find him. HEY, i'm good at spotting wally okay. so i called him, but he didn't pick up..
i walked around in candy empire, found nothing appealing so i walked out and this weird weird guy approached me, holding a box of chocolates. he walked up to me and i was surprised?
"uhm, my girlf just dumped me... and now i have this box of chocolates... i don't know who else to give to, so would you take it, please?" he asked
duh, i wouldn't take it. like how am i gonna tell justin some weird random guy on the street gave me chocolates?? -___-;; i still want my heart in one piece yeah.
he kept insisting that i should take it, so being the oh-so-nice person i have always been xD i accepted it, reluctantly, feeling remorseful for taking somebody else's chocolates LMAO.

then i walked to the other side after the weird weird guy disappeared, only to find wei peng.
"eh, you also here ah?" he said.
"ya. what you doing here?" i asked.
"the girl i asked out said she couldn't come out the last minute. then i'm holding her present now... i cannot bring it home so i give you la."
like wth? i'm not a rubbish bin la!
"what's inside?" i asked.
"chocolates la." he said.
"so big box! must be bomb right!" i accused.
"no! i'm serious, just take it!" he defended.
"no~ i know it's a bomb inside.."
"faster la, my mother calling me already~"
i kept trying to persuade him to help me contact justin, and at that moment i saw him coming down the escalator with a bouquet of roses. and wei peng was beside me. i don't know if he was laughing or not.
then i told justin about the weird weird guy and me being a valentine's dustbin. hahahahaha. what a scammer luh =x but i still love him. this was his plan =x because my friends, in which he initially planned, turned him down last minute.. so uhm, the surprise wasn't as what he planned but still, it was c'est magnifque~!

we went to earle's swensons :i and uhm, i have no comments. i don't like eating ~.~ but uhm, eating once in a while is fine~ i guess. we had the soup of the day which was SUPER nice luh, then the main course and the dessert. the skyjuice thingy was niceee except that it was stingy on my tongue. ^^" we didn't spend so much time eating and we left our ice cream cake in earle's first. =x we rushed off to catch kungfudunk. haha. the show is super damn funny LAH. it has no plot and the song is just .... =.=
one of the lyrics of the song goes like, "if i kicked you lightly you would fly to the end of the world. if i kicked you, there would be no world left." like wth?? super funny la!

after the movie we walked more, with me holding my bouquet. it was like one of the biggest, zomg. we also collected our ice cream cake, and YEAH, it came with dry ice. :] we played with the dry ice after we finished our cake, like throwing them into the water display on the 3rd floor. the people who saw us throwing the dry ice in must have thought in the cake box was some secret fun toy~ haha.

i will never this day =x i feel so happy~ hehe. i'll post the pictures later =x

you're one in a million..

.. and that's why i love you.

i never placed my trust in anyone,
til the day that i met you.
you caught me open.
and now im bleeding.

i dont know why it happened,
some things just don't have a reason.
now i carry these scars.
for everyone to see.

i never had a perfect flawless body to begin with.
these scars are nothing in comparison to __;
my heart melted.
and its trickling. away.


(c)-tsukiyume2008

fuck my weakness,
fuck my pride.
fuck the world upside down,
fuck it all.
















































tell me what's a girl to do when her heart is broken but she daren't tell anyone? tell me what's a girl to do when she has broken her guy's heart and can't fix it again? tell me what am i to do, because i'm the one who'd done all those? i'm despicable, aren't i? just because my heart is broken it doesn't give me the right to break others, am i not wrong??? but i just had to test the water, to feel what it's like. i know i've never died before, but... am i such a schadenfreude? i don't even know what i'm doing. am i really that stupid? do i not know where the line is, for others, the line for pain? have i not drawn it out long ago? or has the standard went up by a whole full 5 notches?
i'm sorry i offered you a shattered heart in exchange for the whole heart... i'm just probably a stupid dumbass who is destined to be a loner, outcast...

i tried to be the best i could, it just wasn't enough. i'm still trying. trying to be someone everybody likes. i have never stopped. i guess i'll never be accepted by society, will i? it's a fact that i'll have to accept it sooner or later. there's no point in delaying it... jeffrey tells me that whether u live life happily or sadly, the outcome is still the same. so live life happily. i'm trying to be happy, i want to be happy, i wish to be happy, i yearn to be happy. ... but nothing'll work right?

i'm a freak.

and i'm bloody freaking sorry. it'll never be enough. nothing will.

im sorry about the things i said before

you can choose not to blame me, but you can't stop me from blaming myself. i know i've let you down countless times since the day we met, i'll never be able to satisfy your standards. this letter of apology will probably not mean a thing to you...
i'm sorry i lied about the pride i never had... i'm sorry i still never opened up fully to you. i'm still afraid of the world, even my mother doesn't know me anymore. i know you probably don't trust me anymore, not anything that i say... it's okay... but i will never stop loving you, like i did, from the start, as i promised you eternity. you can let me go, but i'll never let you go.
i'm sorry i shook it too hard, i never thought it'd result in a fall. i didn't mean to drop it, i didn't... i'm sorry i didn't hold it properly enough, i'm sorry that was a promise i wasn't able to fulfil.
i know no amount of apology could probably make up for this, and i'm disgusted at how i let my 400+odd days of fixing you up got trashed in a second. i'm sorry i don't even treasure myself that much. i... am still trying to love myself.
i'll always be the ugly duckling that'll never grow up, and i'll die alone. i don't see myself anywhere past 17.
"i never meant the things i said to make you cry, can i say i'm sorry?
it's hard to forget, and yes i regret, all these mistakes."
sorry this letter is all about "i" and myself defending myself... it's just that... i don't know how else should i open up. do you really want to see what's inside of me? do you? i will, just give me time. i'm still ashamed of who i really am inside. but if you want to i will. i'll do anything for you, if you ask. but ... i won't let you know how much misery i am in, no matter how much pain i'm going through.. i will never let you know... until i can take it no more ...
i shall shed away all the pride i have, until the core. and if i don't, you can choose to reprimand me in anyway you want. i'm a horrible person, worser than you. i just never told you.
there will be no end to this, but... i just want to let you know that i still love you. you can choose to think i'm a hypocrite, a liar, a charlaten... anything. all i know is that, i really do love you. and i mean it, from the bottom of my heart.
my heart is probably hollow... but now it's more than half filled. i want to believe it. i want to.
if i have to suffer a damnation of luck, i will. because i really love you.

what hurts the most, was being so close.

i'm kind of very pissed now. i shall not say why. my headache's only making it worse. AND i'm emoing pretty badly now.
usually when my music player plays that particular ddr song, i don't get affected by it. but today, it hit me hard. so. i am in a very bad mood now. not say bad... just foul.

Blind Justice

"When, and where has thou art love gone?"
Her soul cries out, but to no avail.
A heart now, grief-ridden, is once again born,
Such intricate it twines, oh the little details.

Let's just pretend that we are together,
Because I wanna spend the night with you.
It's obvious we won't last, let alone forever,
But I wanted to try it, and I wanted you.

That night you asked me out alone,
I knew better than to test the water - still..
If only I had of myself, a clone,
So many little sins, I wish I could kill.

To think I felt like this, for you,
To think your words could even melt.
If only I had the strength to, instead, melt you,
I wouldn't have even, for you this much, felt.

(c)-tsukiyume2008

I can't rhyme this one.. My head's spinning.
Here's to the tears I shed for him, here's to the night we were so alive. Here's to the things we did in the blue of the night, here's to the feelings so real, they felt. This is to ___ D':

* * *

Today, Lydia and I went out. :] If you guys can guess where did we go and what did we do, specifically, i will treat you to macs:D hehe. haha.
Minigame included too! :D guess where each one of the photos was taken, or what is in the picture! :D

Let's GUESS. :]


Picture 1:

Clue: I am on my way to ______ - taken this picture on the transport :D


Picture 2:

Clue: What is this! Specify whose item and the unique-ity of it :D


Picture 3:

Clue: I am still on my way there! - taken this picture while waiting .....


Picture 4:

Clue: Woo! I'm already there! :D But where!


Picture 5:

Clue: This is making things quite obvious! :D Where am i?


Picture 6:

Clue: Ohmy! This is really obvious now! Where am i and what did i do, specifically?


Picture 7:

Clue: I am hungry. What did i eat? At where =x


Picture 8:

Clue: Wah lau =x you know where there is dirty water opened to the public..


Picture 9:

Clue: Tell me where do these kinda things reside :D


Picutre 10:

Clue: Yeah, where in Singapore will you find this kind of tiles :D


Picture 11:

Clue: VERY OBVIOUS ALREADY :D


Picture 12:

Clue: You know the tiles :D


Picture 13:

Clue: More tiles :D


Picture 14:

Clue: LMAO. IT'S JUST A CLOSEUP SHOT :D TRY AND GUESS~




Send your answers via my Plugoo messenger :D leave your name and contact number there :D :D haha!
One last word....


* * *

THIS THINGS ROCKS :D


& I HOPE 3e1 WILL BE ALMOST LIKE 2e4 :i



BRENDA :D

when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight.

... and so I ran.
I ran with my bare feet against the cold snow to remind me that the same coldness is hidden in my heart. I ran until my lungs were about to burst, I ran until I could find no more path before me. I ran hoping I would find you in the end.
What a fool I've been.
There has been nothing here but emptiness.

As the gentle autumn breeze find its place in my hair, I close my eyes and smile.. For a moment I thought it was your gentle touch, your lips whispering words of tenderness... however it was nothing but the wind taking away more of me.

Looking up to the sky I glance back to see the crimson trail I've been leaving behind.. Fuck, I hate this weakness.
After a deep breath I decided I shall not miss anything in this life; I shed my skin and give myself in to the darkness that so gently calls my name. It embraces me with its long strong arms and holds me so tightly against it that I lose my last breath crying out your name in pain.

But you'll never hear it.




i believed in us.

this is an intro of me i wrote on my friendster. how true it is, except for the last part which i wrote when i was torn. or at least i thought i was. ~.~ some people keep telling me to break out of that mental barrier... lol.
but still. i feel very :( now. crys.

i am SO lost.