絶対大丈夫だよ!!

hello dear reader.
you have just stumbled upon the blog of a no-lifer. yes indeed, brenda tops me but still, she justs juggles what her parents & the school throws. i juggle what the school and my outside life throws. tell me which is harder, for i do not think that brenda should top me. meh.

monday: lessons end at 1.15 and near competitions i may only be able to leave after 6.
tuesday-thursday: lessons end at 2.25 and i have some structured study time the school organised and it ends at 4.30 and the teacher may drag the time longer so leaving at 4.30 is not consistent.
friday: lessons end at 12.40 but my cca time is 1.30-6pm.
saturday: homework day & maybe go out to tend to my outside life.
sunday: head down to church & will be drifting away with my cg.

yes indeed i do not have tuitions or any other extra stuff but seriously, i'm gonna be a no-lifer until the Os end. but everyone's pushing me to go to a JC... which means i still have 6 more years of being a no-lifer and when i probably hit 21 i'll be too used to being a no-lifer i continue furthur studies and god knows when i'll ever recover. ~.~ i want my life back cans..? damnit!
not only do i have to do all this (which i think i am capable of :] hey i'm being optimistic), i think now my outside life is killing me. if there's anything you need to tell or ask me, i repeat, come and tell or ask me in my face. if you daren't tell or ask me, then don't bother because i do not want you to waste your breath.
i don't know why, feelings didn't seem to exist when it happened. but why does it hurt now, when i know the inevitable is about to happen?

He could push her away, but he doesn't want to hurt her; as a result he ends up hurting himself.

i'm not thinking very far; it's a fact, isn't it? i'll be okay, i promise. don't delude me.. or keep my hopes up so high, only to drop it at the zenith. stop making me speak in rhymes... as i only rhyme in my speech when i emo, be it lightly or heavily.