I LOVE YOU LAH.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOR :D
i hope you enjoy your 17th birthday! ♥♥♥

what i thought was a dream, a mirage, was as real as it seemed; a privilege.

hellohello{:

today roza met jeffrey.

the end.






no i'm joking. xD we decided to go shopping together (like omg!) but it wasn't like shopping so yeah. just walked around and being stupid, and me eating loadsza junk food {: so cool manszxz.

TODAY, i am worth:
black cardigan: $10
black tank top: $8
black skinny: $25
black slippers: $10
black ear stuff: $3
studded belt: $15
= $71

this means that. i dressed for comfort today. {:
(don't bother jeffrey, i don't know what the F he's doing, playing with my purse. xD)
nothing much happened today, except for a cute guy dressed in emo-skin sat beside me on the bus. heehee. then we looked so cool on the bus luh, two random strangers decked in total black together :D omg, so loved please! hee.

see you all soon. {: i will take more photos.. so keep er, your eyes, er, peeled. =.=

did i lose my life to someone better?

If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

alone with fwb, pretending that we have a secret affair which we are hiding from the world, and we'll make a blood oath & swear to God that we will never fall apart.

* * *

first, andrea told me i was not to ddr.
then, she asked me to ddr with her.
so it's not my fault that i'm ddring. :)



yep, my wound has recovered quite well, thankyou. but er, it got sore.. and hurted like !!! still, i AAA-ed 3 songs. but very low AAAs because i also don't know why. don't blame my feet, blame me. :(

i have a 4 great curse =.=" last time it was 3 greats. see, i am deproving.
i have AAA for:
6 basics,
1 difficult,
1 challenge.
i am such a lousy DDRer.

{ dynamite rave `air special` :(


{ afronova \:


{ raspberry♥heart ^^"


today was such a sad day. i didn't get to see my darling fwb and then my feet is hurting more than yesterday, and then i was so-not-in-my-mind mood. :(

NO I AM NOT EMO-ing SO SHUT UP!

Did I lose my life to someone better?
And that she'll love you like I do, I do,
I know I really, really do.
Well hey, so much I need to say,
Been lonely since the day,
The day you went away.

The day you went away
-M2M

i don't know what to say~ i have wasted 1 day of my precious life. :( well at least i managed to catch the power rangers 'live' at lot 1 :D go go power rangers i like the pink ranger~ why don't they have purple ranger :( mans.



yeh, the emcee is dumb.

andrea, lydia and i went to play with shoes and er, andrea asked me to buy heels? i don't know, maybe i will go buy it. i find it cute :) but then i'll need to buy a new bagggggg :( because. i need one anyway. :)
i'll see how first. it's time from me to stop being such an immature asshole now, because happiness is something you must fight for, and not something anybody would grant you with. i do not want to grant anybody anymore happiness at the expense of my grief. HEH.
i want to watch 27 dresses! yes, with drea, and with jeffrey! :D lol.


{ YUMMIEH.

switch <3

tagged by : jasmine


1. do the following WIHTOUT complains .
2. choose 5 people to do this after completing yours .
3. leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged .


Favourites :
colour : black, purple, white.
food : cheese cake .
song : kakegae no nai uta by mihimaru gt. {:
movie : deathnote :D

Have YOU Ever :
Dated your best friend : yea, so fun ;D
Broken the law : yea ;o
Been arrested : almost :D
Skinny-Dipped : no, eew!
Been on tv : i think so. lol.
kissed someone you don't know : been dared to kiss on the cheek luh. lol.

5 things you are wearing :
tank top, shorts, anklets, idk-what, idk-what.

4 things youve done tday :
see jeffrey, disturb jeffrey, crap with jeffrey&david, hugged jeffrey.

3 things you can hear right now :
fan, my nails, keyboard.

1 thing you do when you are bored :
find drea to ddr.

5 winners who win :
jeffrey
lydia
fangs
you
you



AHHH FED UP AHHHHH. you go type it out yourself ;D there's an internet browser that allows you to high light even with the anti-high ligh code ;DD heh. and also right click.. so slowly figure..

i'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see.

=)
caught a movie with drea,lydia,adam&marcus. watched stardust. no offense.. but the ending is kinda unsatisfactory. and the storyline is kinda lame. but the star is pretty {: so chio lol.
oh yeah, i almost AA-ed exotic ethnic heavy! 946, xxx! omg. :( but while i was exotic-ethnic-ing, i hit the nail and it pulled my blister x'( when my feet heals i will go back to AA exotic ethnic =) and i will try to ddr with shoes, though it's gonna be hard x.o
somehow i think i'm getting the hang of ddr; getting the right beats and not missing so many notes :) my feet hurts, so i think i'll go sleep soon. ;o so tiring.

p/s: imy fwb :(
p/p/s: i think i am going to die soon.
p/p/p/s: i miss that cute guy from justinian's church. lol. wtf!
p/p/p/p/s: i want to walk in the rain like NOW.
p/p/p/p/p/s: i want to ddr :(


* * *


to all the people who asked me to help jeffrey change back,
who asked me to get together with him.
let me tell you all one thing.

it is impossible.

i have nothing else more to say. for i know it will end up in misery. yes, i still like him but the inevitable is happening & i don't want to be a part of it. & it's true that i'm probably the only female that can help him, -.- but i'm tired. he won't want anything else more, and i'm washing my hands off his problems now. i don't want to like him anymore.. i think my heart is broken or something like that because it feels the same as it felt on 9th may 2007. same same, so pain, so heavy, so antagonising..

yes, it's impossible so shut the hell up already.

a hundred days hath made me older, since the last time that i saw your pretty face.

HI.


I'M SELLING MY HOUSE. :D


YOU LIKE IT? IT'S CLEAN AND GREEN WITH 3 HUGE ROOMS.


THE KITCHEN IS OVER THERE!

stop eating.


THE BEDROOM IS OVER THERE!


THIS IS MY BEAUTIFUL BATHROOM.


CHECK OUT MY MATCHING PIPES.


WANT TO SEE MORE? (like jellyfishing)


CALL THIS NUMBER~



no, im joking about the number =__= it's for some voting thing.

wtf, so hard to find the pictures =.= wasted 1 hour on this so be grateful okays. so drop by more often, HAHAHA.

credits to:
NatalieMolko
8shj
cosmic-kath
bakemeacake
LORDofDREAMS
talliah697788
jskellington
athenatt
kurai_jaz

just so you know this feeling's taking control of me

i went to justin's church today, along with jes, randall, & gerald. i don't know luh, these people never seem to have nothing to say. ;o but they only talk about bleach & maple. \: so i just stone there.
anyway i think i'm sick. so this will be a short post because i was supposed to be online at 3.30 but apparently some inconsiderate asshole aka my brother didn't let me use the computer so i went to rest... & i think i woke at 8.18 lor. so shuang {: sleep for so long!

you guys should really go read something. like Garth Nix's book though it's pretty much fantasy, i like the series {: lol. i really got fever -

The Keys to the Kingdom :-
Mister Monday
Grim Tuesday
Drowned Wednesday
Sir Thursday
Lady Friday
Superior Saturday (still writing)
_____ Sunday (still plotting)

(lol)
Comments: keeps you stuck. because it's intriguing.

The Old Kingdom :-
Sabriel
Lirael
Abhorsen
Across the Wall

Comments: nice font if you got the book published by 'HarperCollins Children's Books' because the font is seriously sexy ;D it's also fantasy but it's seriously cool. i'm hunting for a piece of my own ;o like how i go food hunting.


haha. what a short post. and no pictures today because i didn't take any.
p/s: i saw the cute guy :D again. lol.
p/p/s: i'm still finding that girl that lives near me.
p/p/p/s: i want the cute guy's number. =.=
p/p/p/p/s: i should stop this.
p/p/p/p/p/s: okay i'm really going.

tried to take a picture of love

[EDIT] @ 1.39am
i think this is it, adele? ;o
your skin is done. <- click here, yo! you can change the colour of the font on top because i dont know what other colours will go well ^.^"~ lol. maybe it's too green ^^" p/s; je ne m'inquiète pas ce qu'ils disent, parce que je suis dans l'amour avec vous. means i do not worry what [others] say, because i am in love with you.

---------------

Took this from one of the bulletins on friendster & those in emails. i got bored and wrote about it. (i like doing things like this.) well, in the view point of the girl. :) enjoy~
p/s: i miss writing, T.T~
p/p/s: i almost got carried away, but i had to let her die :(

* * *
the extract ;;

Girl: Hey
Boy: What?
Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Boy: Ok...
Girl: What do you mean "ok"?
Boy: I don't like you like that...
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I can't tell you... Maybe another time...

From then on, the girl kept asking the boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him, and he kept answering the same answer of "I'll tell you later." Finally the girl got fed up.

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Girl: Yes!
Boy: It's because you're uglier than freak! What's the point of going out with someone when they're not pretty?!
Girl: But... I...
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!

The boy leaves and the girl is sitting there alone, crying her heart out. Then her cell phone rings.

Girl: Hello?
Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go home, ok? I'll be home from work in a few hours.
Girl: Alright Mom.
Mom: I love you.
Girl: I love you too, Mom.
Mom: Bye Bye.
Girl: Bye

The girl heads home and once she got there, she went in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

Girl: I'm not pretty enough...

She set to work, knowing fully well what she was going to do. 2 hours later, her Mom came home and heard the bath water running. She went upstairs to find the hallway flooded so she knocked on the door.

Mom: Honey? Are you alright?

She opened the door and was shocked at the sight. The bath was overflowing onto the floor, and the water was tinted red. She walked over to see what was inside and screamed. There, her little girl was lying with cuts all over her face and wrists. Her Mom backed away and was going to run to call the police when something caught her eye. On the mirror were these words written in blood:

"Am I pretty enough now?"


No one deserves to be told that by someone they love.
If you find it messed up then forward this to everyone you know.

A person's appearance doesn't count. What counts is their heart inside of them and their personality. No one wants to be told they're not good enough...

* * *
before she died ;;


"am i pretty enough?" i stared at the words i'd scrawled on the mirror. it was written with blood that dripped crimson red onto the floor. i looked away from the mirror and laughed. "i guess i'll never be good enough for anybody..." i admitted in a hoarse whisper, giving in to the sorrow that was slowly eating me up. i looked back into the mirror. i screamed.
almost without thinking, my fist flew to the mirror. my breathing was rasp.


i am afraid. of everything. i've tried, and i guess fifteen years is all i can take, before i really break into nothing. they tell me that i am pretty & i lived in their delusion. i don't get it. what does society want from me?!


i walked over to the window, leaving my scars i'd opened on my arms to bleed freely. it was as if the heavens were on my side, as i stared aimlessly into the grey clouds that had entered the fairly red atmosphere. "i want to fly..." i whispered without a thought, and a mad thought entered my mind.

i turned back and looked at the bathroom floor that was decorated with shards all over. my eyes started to grow warm as tears welled up and bombarded the ground. bending over, i picked up a piece of mirror and a sinister smile creeped across my face. it felt so surreal as the pain slowly numbed everything. the warm, red liquid slowly added colour to the pale bathroom. i was amazed at how shattered mirrors and blood made a good combination.

everything felt so good, so numb.. in that moment nothing was restricted. carvings were like drawings upon my skin, and i felt like i was on esctasy. all of a heap i fell to the floor and chanced upon a big piece of broken mirror on the floor. it was time to put the mad thought to action.

the house was so quiet, so empty. like a hollow shell, that's what i am. everything will be fine after i go, nobody will ever have to suffer standing or living with me. everything will be solved.

i was closed off from love, and i didn't need the pain.

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I keep bleeding...

Bleeding Love
- Leona Lewis
(p/s: i love her super high vocals.)


do you know how much it hurts even when you think it's fun to play gooseberry/lightbulb/lamppost? it hurts SO MUCH even when it's in the name of fun. i've had enough. this is the 3rd time i'm actually doing this. weird isn't it, i should be very fine with this feeling, but no, this time i nearly fell into depression. thank you kor, i love you SO MUCH.
i can't take it anymore. so i've confessed to you, though i don't expect anything back in return & i blame myself totally for even thinking about THAT. maybe i'm just too nice at times, so nice that i even lose my footing.. and yes, i will break his heart for what breaks mine. i know i promised to make sure you'd be happy, but now i guess i have to break it because i can't fulfil it, i can't. but i'll still watch over you okay, as a sister. i don't know what to feel now.

* * *

TODAYYYYY!
i didn't go meet jeffrey & david at 11. instead i went to yck stadium with drea to attend the youth ministry's programme aka, shout to the north (or sth like that). \: maybe it's just me, but i think it's kinda like my fault for ruining the day, but hey, it's not totally my fault, because i'm not the entertainer here, yeah. you gotta learn to move on WITHOUT me, learn to do things WITHOUT me. because i won't be around in times to come. i don't want ...
anyway, jeffrey&david and drea&i went down to cck.. i don't know luh, whats up with you? am i really THAT important? come on, i look like i don't give a damn about insults but HELL, i give. to put it nicely, i'm just giving in to you, sucking up to you. to put it badly, it's just that i don't show it to give you face lor. whatever.
things didn't go so badly later, or as i presumed because i had to think positively. i have to be an optimist to help the people around me. after jeffrey&david left, i ddred with drea and got another AAA, though it's a basic song. lol. so close to PFCing it. ~.~ got external distraction :( HAI~ no comment.

{ grats to andrea for AA-ing & me for AAA-ing, lol. still got two more.


{ freeze arrows = step & freeze not step & let go, andrea. ( i have this for baby tears lol.)


then drea&i fooled around in the library and i finally found my 'lady friday' by garth nix in the library! ♥~ like zomg! lol. and we went to the pasar malam. had nuggets and walked around... i find pasar malams funny, in my opinion. they sell weird things, and they display their things quite interestingly. =x no offense.

{ please click to get a better view~


{ barneys not in fashion pl0x.


today has been such a crappy day, indeed. no comment & i do not wish to elaborate.








YESTERDAYYYYY!
dental appointment. :D
& then i went to fetch jeffrey home again with david. so nice to waste time eh? the sun sets in the west, but the sunset is just as sweet as it is in the west over here in the east. :)

{ lol, pose~


{ the process of the sun setting, ;o









{ lol.


{ clouds are yummyyyyyyyyyyyy ♥


after sending jeffrey home, david went to dbg to find his friend and i went to cck to find drea. she had a friend called adam with her. then drea&i ddred and played spot-the-difference, and we completed all 20 photos again. lol.

{ such a random shot~


and i got two more AAAs, and drea got two more AAs. she's now feeling depressed because she's always so close to an AAA ;o haha.

{ they're basic because we random the songs. i'm player 1.



after playing and all, drea decided to go home, so we all parted ways.

{ zai la~! this is what happens when you miss a train.









THURSDAYYYYY!
yesh, same thing, sent jeffrey home.

{ hello, this is jeffrey's cousin. jeffrey's a plant, this is imo aka a potato.


old chang kee is really earning loadsza money from david&jeffrey&me because we keep buying food from them. =3=

{ this is littering.


lolol, then waste so much time:) i was supposed to meet lydia but this david keep wasting my time.. we tried bus966, took it down to woodlands. i was carrying a bag.. & my bag had a lovely tail which got SAT ON by some effin idiot.. david wanted to pull it out but then i was afraid that the guy jump or what ... so i asked lydia how. this is what she replied:
"den you tell him 'excuse me why are you sitting on my tail' like that la" dont know why it sounded so funny back then when i received the sms.
then we only reached woodlands at 8.20 lors. tsk! we rotted at cwp for 2 hours before they decided to camp in my house, -.-" then jeffrey got jealous =x haha..

we had nothing to do in the first few hours.. so we rotted more in my room. lol.

{ lydie has an affair with my horse.


yes yes, you all know we love to rot. yes, we rotted on the comp, spotting spelling errors made my lydia's friend on her own blog. lol. and here are the pics of lydie{:






{ all cleaned up!



lol okay. nothing more. {: so boring.

we are the bells that never ring :)

david & lydia are camping in my house tonight, :) lols. i have nothing to say.
we have worn ourselves out staring at the blank computer screen (lol, right! empty, i say!) and now david is regaining his energy. and lydia is still high. and i'm kinda like drowsy.. you know the kind of feeling where you want to sleep but then you don't want to sleep and then you go to sleep and then you suddenly feel like sleeping but you don't really want to sleep and yet you want to sleep? yeah, that kinda feeling. (omg, crap.)
I MADE LYDIA BRUSH HER TEETH! YAY! i post the picture later ;D
haha. nada sou sou rocks. :) now i really don't know i want to sleep because lydia doesn't want me to sleep and i still have to wake david up later at 4.20 but i really want to sleep.. yet i don't want to sleep. HAI~ sometimes your body IS really weird. o:

replys to taggs ;;

RayZY: oh, really? o_o drea & i talked to him and like zomg, he's my junior. =.=" same primary school sia! dunnoe if i feel shocked or surprised or ???
fwb`: LOL. sorry i really felt so lame ~.~
dongsong: fuck you lydia.
enxin: ENXIN ENXIN ENXIN WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
JASMINE: hello back at ya, babe ;DD
lydia: I SAID FUCK YOU LIAO :D lol.

you are the music in me ♥

indeed, nobody can live without my crap. i know all you readers out there are dying to know what happened to me. no, i didn't die, not yet. lol. okokay, i shall stop hanging you all in suspense.. & update you guys ;D YAY

edit:
was browsing through the songs in the nonstop course. HAHAHA.
BURN BABY BURN become BUN BABY BURN. :D

click please.

(blogger's not letting me upload via blogger =3=)

♥ TODAY!

like, zomg? i got a AAA again. :) but it's a basic song. woots!



yeah, but today i went to find fwb♥ again. he misses me like i miss him so we have to see each other or we'll die. lol, no, it's not a curse. we just miss each other. :)
nothing much happened today, only that he could come out today after school. :) i didn't tell fwb♥ that david was coming so i guess he was kinda like happily surprised when he saw david (though he knew something like that would happen today because i also don't know why, he claims to be psychic lol)
fwb♥ wanted to ddr but i wasn't in the mood to, so i made david ddr with fwb♥ haha. =x then there was this cute little boy looking at them stomp on the panels.
so cute cans :DD maybe he wants to grow up ddring too! ohmy! :D

then we headed to `the little red house` to slack. on our way there i saw an apartment on the ground floor that had beautiful flowers! omg, so nice luh.


then fwb♥ said he forgot to buy something from pwp, so we headed back to pwp. i bought a drink on the way. then david, being the typical 'observant' self, he noticed this YO-BABY yoghurt. LOL i don't know what's so funny about it, but it's just plain FARNIE lol.

{ this is yoghurt.


{ this is YO-BABY. no comment


wtFux luh! damn funny, also don't know why i said it out loud when i read it. -.-! and there was this cute packaging for a vegetable-flavoured biscuit. :) so cute.


{ eh good lor, walk without me. :(

since they don't want me so i left and find andrea. :(





no luh! lol. joking. :) but after everything i went to find andrea because we miss each other loads too. heh. (and got another AAA [refer to top] today.)




on tuesday, i stayed at home & rotted. yay!




♥ MONDAY!
collected my shirt from lydia{: and she came to my place for a while. :) saw a white pigeon and got a picture of it. yay. now hunting for a brown one. (i know there's one in orchard)
NO IT'S NOT A DOVE IT'S A WHITE PIGEON. (if you don't read my stories & only look at my pictures)



yesh, i went to find fwb♥ again. :)

i didn't that condominium managers (or whatever you call them) hire garderners to make plants look square. (example taken from cote d'azur aka, fwb♥'s condominium)












♥ SUNDAY!
went to ddr with andrea. ;) so fun. i got to encore extra stage today by myself. like zomg.. first time sia. i mean, with my own results. getting AA for the `random song`, for `Trip Machine PhoeniX`, and then letting ray&velvet do pluto for me&drea. ♥♥♥

drea and i went to one of the vending machines outside the arcade to get a drink.. so weird leh, the liquids in the 100plus-es are not equal.

(compare the one on the extreme left to the others.)


& we met a boy called jovian. he's quite cute. and WOW, he's from the same primary school as me, no comment. drea and i ddred with him before he left, but he bumped into us on the ground floor. drea decided that he was a sad boy with no friends (that's cuz he always ddrs alone. REALLY.) and followed him to have dinner, though we just talked to him.

{ the meat is bigger than the rice la. it's like one piece of meat's already bigger than the bowl of rice. david asks if they really serve this.










♥ SATURDAY!
eee? i overslept & missed youth worship. hahahaaaaaaa ^^" =x
our cg had a movie event and we watched the BEE MOVIE together. the movie was okay. :) i guess. lol. (did i tell you that justin brought me to watch BRATZ? cuz he had the preview tix. BRATZ isn't that bad either. jade is haute.)

the guys were being funny. they bought this BEE MOVIE cup because it had a figurine on it. in the end valery brought it home. :)


the movie's very cute. the bee can talk! wow.

after the movie, lydia andrea & i went to andrea's place. wasted time & went to lan later. haha. what a fun & boring day.











♥ FRIDAY!
i don't know why lydia andrea & i went out again. other than ddring, i don't know what why we're even together. lols. xD



skinnys rule? ;o










okay i guess that's all? :)

FTW! when i'm gone by simple plan rules!