i just want to runaway, away.

okay. i don't think i can see through my social life anymore. because if i did, i wouldn't have the time to sleep. it's not that i cant cope or anything, it's just the part where i need to do revision and sleep. i really want to go out, i really want to do a.maths, i really want to do what other people deem impossible. lmao.
i'm physically and mentally tired, but it's him who keeps me moving =x and i'm trying to keep up too.. i think i'm doing pretty fine now, it's just that i need more rest now than ever. i'm dead beat. i'm exhausted. i'm flopped.

T___________________T~
helpmeeeeeeeee:[

絶対大丈夫だよ!!

hello dear reader.
you have just stumbled upon the blog of a no-lifer. yes indeed, brenda tops me but still, she justs juggles what her parents & the school throws. i juggle what the school and my outside life throws. tell me which is harder, for i do not think that brenda should top me. meh.

monday: lessons end at 1.15 and near competitions i may only be able to leave after 6.
tuesday-thursday: lessons end at 2.25 and i have some structured study time the school organised and it ends at 4.30 and the teacher may drag the time longer so leaving at 4.30 is not consistent.
friday: lessons end at 12.40 but my cca time is 1.30-6pm.
saturday: homework day & maybe go out to tend to my outside life.
sunday: head down to church & will be drifting away with my cg.

yes indeed i do not have tuitions or any other extra stuff but seriously, i'm gonna be a no-lifer until the Os end. but everyone's pushing me to go to a JC... which means i still have 6 more years of being a no-lifer and when i probably hit 21 i'll be too used to being a no-lifer i continue furthur studies and god knows when i'll ever recover. ~.~ i want my life back cans..? damnit!
not only do i have to do all this (which i think i am capable of :] hey i'm being optimistic), i think now my outside life is killing me. if there's anything you need to tell or ask me, i repeat, come and tell or ask me in my face. if you daren't tell or ask me, then don't bother because i do not want you to waste your breath.
i don't know why, feelings didn't seem to exist when it happened. but why does it hurt now, when i know the inevitable is about to happen?

He could push her away, but he doesn't want to hurt her; as a result he ends up hurting himself.

i'm not thinking very far; it's a fact, isn't it? i'll be okay, i promise. don't delude me.. or keep my hopes up so high, only to drop it at the zenith. stop making me speak in rhymes... as i only rhyme in my speech when i emo, be it lightly or heavily.

-

if you want to know ANYTHING about me.
come and ask it IN MY FACE.


& if i dont want to tell you at all.
STOP PROBING.
i will hate you.

white houses!

LOL WHAT THE FUCK!
lydia came online and told me she was going to die tomorrow because she THREW VEGETABLES AT HER FRIEND in school. =.= and.



LYDIA     ; says (8:25 PM):
i going to die tmllllllllllll
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:25 PM):
why
   LYDIA     ; says (8:26 PM):
my friend complain to dm i throw vegetables at herrrrrr
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:26 PM):
-.-
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:26 PM):
diao
   LYDIA     ; says (8:26 PM):
i'm going to dieeeeeee
   LYDIA     ; says (8:26 PM):
i'm going to dieeeeeeeeeeeee
   LYDIA     ; says (8:26 PM):
help me
   LYDIA     ; says (8:27 PM):
helpppppp me i going to die mtl
   LYDIA     ; says (8:27 PM):
tml**
   LYDIA     ; says (8:27 PM):
helphelphelp
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:27 PM):
=.=
   LYDIA     ; says (8:27 PM):
diediedie
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:27 PM):
skip sch lor
   LYDIA     ; says (8:27 PM):
helppppp
   LYDIA     ; says (8:27 PM):
cannot
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:27 PM):
u dare to do why u dont dare to face the music
   LYDIA     ; says (8:28 PM):
ahhh
   LYDIA     ; says (8:28 PM):
i humji mag
   LYDIA     ; says (8:28 PM):
mah**
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:28 PM):
thn u still throw
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:28 PM):
why u throw you chicken neh neh
   LYDIA     ; says (8:28 PM):
hahaha
   LYDIA     ; says (8:28 PM):
i don't knowwwww ahhhh dieeeee ah tml
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:28 PM):
=.=
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:28 PM):
since u dont know why u throw and u scared to face the music then dont complain to me
   LYDIA     ; says (8:29 PM):
throw for fun mah
   LYDIA     ; says (8:29 PM):
throw for fun mah
   LYDIA     ; says (8:29 PM):
i scared tml dm ask hor about the vegetable thing then i keep laughing
   LYDIA     ; says (8:29 PM):
what ting
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:30 PM):
justin laughing at you
   LYDIA     ; says (8:30 PM):
=.=
   LYDIA     ; says (8:30 PM):
ahhhh
   LYDIA     ; says (8:30 PM):
diedie ahh
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:30 PM):
neh neh
   LYDIA     ; says (8:30 PM):
go read her blog ah
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:30 PM):
=.= who
   LYDIA     ; says (8:30 PM):
paperkisses07.blogspot.com
   LYDIA     ; says (8:31 PM):
i also got video of me throwing vegetable at her
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:31 PM):
HAHAHAHAHAH
   LYDIA     ; says (8:31 PM):
then she want put vegetable inside my shirt
   LYDIA     ; says (8:31 PM):
ahahahahhahahaahaha
   LYDIA     ; says (8:32 PM):
diediedie



then i read that girl's blog. and continued talking to lydia.


✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:32 PM):
WHY YOU PINCH HER
   LYDIA     ; says (8:33 PM):
she pinch me also mah
   LYDIA     ; says (8:33 PM):
got marks to prove
   LYDIA     ; says (8:33 PM):
ahahahahaha
   LYDIA     ; says (8:33 PM):
so die together lor
✖ つきゆめ™ ||       ❥      絶対大丈夫だよ!! ♥♪ says (8:34 PM):
u pinch her first right
   LYDIA     ; says (8:37 PM):
ya



LMAO. no comments.

i believe the world is coming to an end.

neversorry
©2008;dinah

done and dead, and proven my worth, there's nothing more to be said about this
reality or dream? things just changed into a state of bliss
i guess apologising will never be accepted, but trying doesn't hurt
so let me take this chance to take afford me comfort

sorry for thinking i could do it, sorry for trying to be what i'm not
days&nights i've tried to be, but all my efforts led to naught
putting on the face that gets me through the day, it is but a daily affair
it's the kind of dream you can never awake from - it's my living nightmare

the gaping hole in my chest is filled with nothing but you
and if it's you that i'd hurt, tell me what am i to do?
oh, such wistful eyes, a fragile tale it brings along
tell me now, truthfully, to where and whom do i really belong?