heavenly days

:(
darling is going to china for more than a week! the thought of not being able to see him for like oh so long is probably going to kill me :( 2 days already so sad, i can't think of what, 7 or more days? omg :( :( :(
i'm gonna miss my darling like mad luhs.. T_______________T

T______________________________________________________T!
._. i love you.

just like the way we do when it's 9 in the afternoon.

... and so I ran.
I ran with my bare feet against the cold snow to remind me that the same coldness is hidden in my heart. I ran until my lungs were about to burst, I ran until I could find no more path before me. I ran hoping I would find you in the end.
What a fool I've been.
There has been nothing here but emptiness.

As the gentle autumn breeze find its place in my hair, I close my eyes and smile.. For a moment I thought it was your gentle touch, your lips whispering words of tenderness... however it was nothing but the wind taking away more of me.

Looking up to the sky I glance back to see the crimson trail I've been leaving behind.. Fuck, I hate this weakness.
After a deep breath I decided I shall not miss anything in this life; I shed my skin and give myself in to the darkness that so gently calls my name. It embraces me with its long strong arms and holds me so tightly against it that I lose my last breath crying out your name in pain.

But you'll never hear it.




i believed in us.


*


I was broken.

I ran with my bare feet against the cold snow. I ran until my lungs were about to burst. I ran until I could find no more path before me. Escaping from reality seemed to be the sweetest way out after you broke the truth to me.
Indeed, I had been the fool all along.
Misery loves me.

Collapsing onto the unfeeling, icy cold ground, I felt warmth. I closed my eyes and smiled... only to be brought back up in your warm arms. Like a beautiful lie, I slapped you hard in the face. No, I don't want to be taken away any way, anymore.

You pulled me into those arms with such a warmness I had never felt in such a long time. Gently, I gave in to my weakness and cried.
Those tears flowed so freely I literally became a sobbing wreck. I let my guard down and give myself to you. For the second time in my life, I place my shattered heart and broken trust into someone whom i believe can fix me. I lost my breath crying out your name in pain..


This time you heard it.



Don't ever let me go.

o1o1o8;o448

am i far enough to make you miss me?

that kinda hurted.. i'm already trying so hard.
you didn't have to stab me there, where my heart used to be.
..

you know I’ll be there for you.

i've been gaming for the past two days, and my ingame level is like, 34 now. but i won't be able to keep playing -_- maybe yes on the weekends :( feel so :(
and :) i love you boy. thank you for everything:D (as per usual) i really don't know what to say :o i feel just as blessed as you ^__^v

(what a fuggly retarded post. must be the lack of sleep. but i really love justin :D)

You look so beautiful today.

It is amazing how the world can still go on when your world has caved in once again. Despite having met with the same event, the way to deal it has been long forgotten, as if an ancient way. The reason why we learn history, is because we do not want to make the same mistakes. But has anybody really learnt anything from it all?
You can try to guard the [perfect] idea, freeze and frame it, so hard that you ignore all the scratches on the surface and look right through them as though it were really perfect. But how long, can you keep it guarded? Why do you feel as though you need to keep score or gain the upper hand?
It is only a matter of time, before you realise that you've overlooked and tried to ignore that one chapter of your life. Whatever empowered you to think about this all, well, you've just simply come to terms with yourself and what really happened, because there are some things in your life you can forgive but can't forget.

an extract from one of my weirdest stories ever. i feel like... o__o; because my stories have never sounded like that. anyhow. i think that this is how i can express it most in words. i've lost all powers to pen a poem anymore.
it's much better showing than telling anyway \: at least that is the freedom i gain in writing prose. :i
no, there isn't any hidden meaning in this. i'm just... expressing my thoughts and all now. *smiles weakly* there is nothing to hide. nothing.

* * *

Brenda & I didn't want to go to school today again. Don't know why. But I guess going today wasn't such a bad choice... Except for the fact that it was REALLY cold. & we forgot to bring our jackets. *__*;
A.Maths - We weren't too cold at first, so things just went on as per normal. Yay, Janson sat in front of me again... Can disturb him... LOL
SS - As interesting as ever. My SS teacher so totally rocks please. :) She always has a story to tell us ^__^v and they're always so entertaining luh. :-o
Chinese - A sudden wave of sianzationess lapped over all of us... Ohmy. :-o but as per usual, Adele, Joei, Brenda and occasionally Veronica would try to distract the teacher into doing something else... And today they succeeded. Very well. ^__^v

Recess - Nothing much -__- I had quite a boring recess today. Don't know why.. Just felt so off. Maybe because it got really cold and froze me half off. :-o lols.

Chemistry - Oh my godo, I don't know why today's lesson lasted like, FOREVER. Maybe it's because teacher squeezed 2 chapters into 2 periods *__*; and started screaming again @__@;
Lights - Same old boring lesson. Izzuan went super crazy luhs. Kept disturbing Brenda & me. ~__~ Finished my tic-tacs and dropped a few water babies (from my handphone thingy and Brenda's) inside. Lights lesson is super boring please.
E.Maths - Nothing much covered today because teacher was busy doing the admin. stuff for maths. Like the SingaporeMathsOlympiad and remedials. Oh woots mansxzxz. Syazwan thinks he is Mas Selamat. -__- Seriously, I don't know him =x ^__^v
English - Oh, my favourite lesson since I don't need to do much studying ^__^v Brenda & I kept laughing luh. Damn Izzuan and Janson... And the water babies lmao. It suicided! And we laughed our heads off lmao.

Lunch - Pretty much as boring as Recess. *__*; sigh.

SST/Remedial - Spent SST in the library crapping with Brenda, Cheryl, Adele, Joei, Edsel, Charles and Galton. I pity Galton today. -__- Don't know how he studies with the whole table making so much noise lol. Haha. Remedial was crap. Like chinese lesson because it was chinese lesson.

Overall, today was a pretty much ok-ok day. Haha. Laughter is the best medicine I guess. Brenda said I was crazy today. \: It's not like I'm crazy everyday. I mean, seriously. I've never laughed this much in school -__- Maybe it's because of something else I don't know inside me like, it's dying or something. \: At least I no-lifed in school today, occupying me with useless things. Oh yeah, so fun...

p/s: My sec3 camp's in Changi/Bukit Batok. Like wth?? There's a terrorist that was last seen there, and my school's going there to camp?? What is wrong with everyone? The sec3 cohort isn't, over my dead body, going to catch some terrorist and be on the front page of the newspaper you know? I am so not going. There's a terrorist on the loose and we're going to camp. Like wootsxzxz.