you're one in a million..

.. and that's why i love you.

i never placed my trust in anyone,
til the day that i met you.
you caught me open.
and now im bleeding.

i dont know why it happened,
some things just don't have a reason.
now i carry these scars.
for everyone to see.

i never had a perfect flawless body to begin with.
these scars are nothing in comparison to __;
my heart melted.
and its trickling. away.


(c)-tsukiyume2008

fuck my weakness,
fuck my pride.
fuck the world upside down,
fuck it all.
















































tell me what's a girl to do when her heart is broken but she daren't tell anyone? tell me what's a girl to do when she has broken her guy's heart and can't fix it again? tell me what am i to do, because i'm the one who'd done all those? i'm despicable, aren't i? just because my heart is broken it doesn't give me the right to break others, am i not wrong??? but i just had to test the water, to feel what it's like. i know i've never died before, but... am i such a schadenfreude? i don't even know what i'm doing. am i really that stupid? do i not know where the line is, for others, the line for pain? have i not drawn it out long ago? or has the standard went up by a whole full 5 notches?
i'm sorry i offered you a shattered heart in exchange for the whole heart... i'm just probably a stupid dumbass who is destined to be a loner, outcast...

i tried to be the best i could, it just wasn't enough. i'm still trying. trying to be someone everybody likes. i have never stopped. i guess i'll never be accepted by society, will i? it's a fact that i'll have to accept it sooner or later. there's no point in delaying it... jeffrey tells me that whether u live life happily or sadly, the outcome is still the same. so live life happily. i'm trying to be happy, i want to be happy, i wish to be happy, i yearn to be happy. ... but nothing'll work right?

i'm a freak.

and i'm bloody freaking sorry. it'll never be enough. nothing will.

im sorry about the things i said before

you can choose not to blame me, but you can't stop me from blaming myself. i know i've let you down countless times since the day we met, i'll never be able to satisfy your standards. this letter of apology will probably not mean a thing to you...
i'm sorry i lied about the pride i never had... i'm sorry i still never opened up fully to you. i'm still afraid of the world, even my mother doesn't know me anymore. i know you probably don't trust me anymore, not anything that i say... it's okay... but i will never stop loving you, like i did, from the start, as i promised you eternity. you can let me go, but i'll never let you go.
i'm sorry i shook it too hard, i never thought it'd result in a fall. i didn't mean to drop it, i didn't... i'm sorry i didn't hold it properly enough, i'm sorry that was a promise i wasn't able to fulfil.
i know no amount of apology could probably make up for this, and i'm disgusted at how i let my 400+odd days of fixing you up got trashed in a second. i'm sorry i don't even treasure myself that much. i... am still trying to love myself.
i'll always be the ugly duckling that'll never grow up, and i'll die alone. i don't see myself anywhere past 17.
"i never meant the things i said to make you cry, can i say i'm sorry?
it's hard to forget, and yes i regret, all these mistakes."
sorry this letter is all about "i" and myself defending myself... it's just that... i don't know how else should i open up. do you really want to see what's inside of me? do you? i will, just give me time. i'm still ashamed of who i really am inside. but if you want to i will. i'll do anything for you, if you ask. but ... i won't let you know how much misery i am in, no matter how much pain i'm going through.. i will never let you know... until i can take it no more ...
i shall shed away all the pride i have, until the core. and if i don't, you can choose to reprimand me in anyway you want. i'm a horrible person, worser than you. i just never told you.
there will be no end to this, but... i just want to let you know that i still love you. you can choose to think i'm a hypocrite, a liar, a charlaten... anything. all i know is that, i really do love you. and i mean it, from the bottom of my heart.
my heart is probably hollow... but now it's more than half filled. i want to believe it. i want to.
if i have to suffer a damnation of luck, i will. because i really love you.

what hurts the most, was being so close.

i'm kind of very pissed now. i shall not say why. my headache's only making it worse. AND i'm emoing pretty badly now.
usually when my music player plays that particular ddr song, i don't get affected by it. but today, it hit me hard. so. i am in a very bad mood now. not say bad... just foul.

Blind Justice

"When, and where has thou art love gone?"
Her soul cries out, but to no avail.
A heart now, grief-ridden, is once again born,
Such intricate it twines, oh the little details.

Let's just pretend that we are together,
Because I wanna spend the night with you.
It's obvious we won't last, let alone forever,
But I wanted to try it, and I wanted you.

That night you asked me out alone,
I knew better than to test the water - still..
If only I had of myself, a clone,
So many little sins, I wish I could kill.

To think I felt like this, for you,
To think your words could even melt.
If only I had the strength to, instead, melt you,
I wouldn't have even, for you this much, felt.

(c)-tsukiyume2008

I can't rhyme this one.. My head's spinning.
Here's to the tears I shed for him, here's to the night we were so alive. Here's to the things we did in the blue of the night, here's to the feelings so real, they felt. This is to ___ D':

* * *

Today, Lydia and I went out. :] If you guys can guess where did we go and what did we do, specifically, i will treat you to macs:D hehe. haha.
Minigame included too! :D guess where each one of the photos was taken, or what is in the picture! :D

Let's GUESS. :]


Picture 1:

Clue: I am on my way to ______ - taken this picture on the transport :D


Picture 2:

Clue: What is this! Specify whose item and the unique-ity of it :D


Picture 3:

Clue: I am still on my way there! - taken this picture while waiting .....


Picture 4:

Clue: Woo! I'm already there! :D But where!


Picture 5:

Clue: This is making things quite obvious! :D Where am i?


Picture 6:

Clue: Ohmy! This is really obvious now! Where am i and what did i do, specifically?


Picture 7:

Clue: I am hungry. What did i eat? At where =x


Picture 8:

Clue: Wah lau =x you know where there is dirty water opened to the public..


Picture 9:

Clue: Tell me where do these kinda things reside :D


Picutre 10:

Clue: Yeah, where in Singapore will you find this kind of tiles :D


Picture 11:

Clue: VERY OBVIOUS ALREADY :D


Picture 12:

Clue: You know the tiles :D


Picture 13:

Clue: More tiles :D


Picture 14:

Clue: LMAO. IT'S JUST A CLOSEUP SHOT :D TRY AND GUESS~




Send your answers via my Plugoo messenger :D leave your name and contact number there :D :D haha!
One last word....


* * *

THIS THINGS ROCKS :D


& I HOPE 3e1 WILL BE ALMOST LIKE 2e4 :i



BRENDA :D

when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight.

... and so I ran.
I ran with my bare feet against the cold snow to remind me that the same coldness is hidden in my heart. I ran until my lungs were about to burst, I ran until I could find no more path before me. I ran hoping I would find you in the end.
What a fool I've been.
There has been nothing here but emptiness.

As the gentle autumn breeze find its place in my hair, I close my eyes and smile.. For a moment I thought it was your gentle touch, your lips whispering words of tenderness... however it was nothing but the wind taking away more of me.

Looking up to the sky I glance back to see the crimson trail I've been leaving behind.. Fuck, I hate this weakness.
After a deep breath I decided I shall not miss anything in this life; I shed my skin and give myself in to the darkness that so gently calls my name. It embraces me with its long strong arms and holds me so tightly against it that I lose my last breath crying out your name in pain.

But you'll never hear it.




i believed in us.

this is an intro of me i wrote on my friendster. how true it is, except for the last part which i wrote when i was torn. or at least i thought i was. ~.~ some people keep telling me to break out of that mental barrier... lol.
but still. i feel very :( now. crys.

i am SO lost.