maybe we're trying, trying too hard..

OH MY LORDD.
i was being so sad until was staring at my phone... & fwb called. i was like O_O! EEEE i very miss fwb cans :( anw, fwb, your mosquitoes are so irritating.. the bite doesn't seem to be going away? what happens to your mosquito bites - do they disappear into your skin again??
haha, randomness. :) anyway, i wrote a song for fwb, (: enjoy!

* * *

p/s: imy so much, tell me you'll stay
image by: cold turkey
lyrics by: dinah



verse1:
corners have never felt this cold before;
i wonder why.
the room has never felt this empty before;
i don't know why.
these pictures look so alive,
but it's all too stale..

prechorus:
didn't think things would go this way,
day & night it's always on my mind..

chorus:
nothing can possibly compare to the times
we shared together on the face of this earth.
tears that fall so freely from my eyes
collect into the never ending ocean of my heart.
my life has never been this quiet since
you stepped in & it's just a wonder
how much you've done for me.

verse2:
memories of us have always been so warm, like a flame;
i wonder why.
that mirror we love has always been there, it won't disappear;
i don't know why.
these gifts we shared will always have our warmth. as if we're together now;
but now i really miss you..

prechorus:
didn't think i'd fall so hard from such a trip,
no amount of words can describe this feeling now..

[chorus]

bridge:
i keep looking out, to make sure you're safe,
but now i don't have to.
i keep shielding you, to make sure you're happy,
but now it's someone else's job.
i really miss the times we had together, so much.
my heart is shattering because
no-one understands & there won't
really be a need for me anymore..

[chorus x2]

closing:
tell me you'll stay, that we'll last forever.
i really miss you, & even if
anything happens, promise me
we'll always be there for each other..
{whisper}p/s: imy so much, tell me you'll stay..

* * *

"it starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
wherever it goes i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
wherever you go."

bubbly
colbie caillat

* * *

i really miss jeffrey :(

all for love, the heavens cried; for love was crucified.

to dinopigkor.

i know i was not in the right mood today. i'm serious about not minding you two. i'm only sad, because now you are taking over my job. i will really miss taking care of dinodi because i enjoy doing so. will you please not pretend to believe this, because i know this is really my fault - i went too far & i think you misunderstood everything.. as i sent in my sms, i'm really very upset with myself, not you two. why would i even be upset with you two?? it's not as if you're gonna steal dinodi away from me forever. we'll always be together, the dinopigs, won't we? & about me starting all over again.. it's gonna be fine, i've done it a few times... i just need to adjust and i'll be fine. i really trust you with dinodi, i know that you will take care of dinodi as well as i did, or even better. this is too much to fit in one sms, so i really want you to read this, though i know it might be a little too late. still, do not reconsider the decision because of me. it's okay to make me sad, because happiness doesn't look good on me. i know i didn't even cheer up after going to dinodi's house, & i'm sorry because it was too hard - trying to push away the truth of my upsetness, dinodi's departure, the news & my back hurting. the equation is true then, i guess. it's all because of me, me. i know i look like that dumb girl, i'm sorry cuz i'm just as dumb too. actually i cried also partially because i decided to give up fighting over dinodi with you; i just let my heart break.. it's not your fault okay, i let it happen..

i really hope you won't move on as if this never happened, or just pretend nothing happened, because if you did, i won't know what to do.. let alone, me to dinodi. please.

you got me feeling like a child now.

hello all :) i'm spring cleaning!
yes in the middle of the night!
i really think i AM nocturnal.. \: haha.

so hungry in the middle of the night too.. :(
nvm..
i'll just continue packing up ^^

it's okay; let it go.. get out there & find someone.

so many things happened this week, so fast for me to catch. so you guys will help me catch :)
(this week was so petrifyingly disastrous. every night seemed to crash down on my frail shoulders..) [that is the result of being able to express oneself with such ease at this language]

oh, and

happy belated 2nd fwb monthsary! :)

TODAY.
i went to find fwb because he wasn't feeling well. & he wanted someone to talk to :) aww, & take care of him. haha, okays, so i went to find him.. though we only saw each other for 15 minutes... :) but still, i got to see fwb and eat junk food, xD
take care alrights, fwb~ i love you~
then i headed down to cck to find davidkor. & so happy that he finally has a new phone :) the old one really didnt suit him cuz it was small... and so laggy =x lols. nothing much really happened today, though i was supposed to be at home packing up my room ^^"~




SATURDAY.
helped andrea to collect her cookies before meeting her at cck. i was supposed to be at dbg with the dinopigs but uhm.. david & fwb just came down to ddr at cck with drea and i.. :) drea was flying away that night too, so just spend the day doing her favourite thing with her... ^^
ANDREA, YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ISIT. PLAY PARANOiA SURVIVOR MAX DIFFICULT ON x2 SPEED~? RAH!
i dont know luh, after playing that song, my brain was totally haywired @.@ and she did the same thing (pressing the start button straight without deciding the song) and ^^v i got my first AAA..

{ OOH LA LA !


thankyou andrea, i love you okay? xD

& my dinopig friends went crazy. :)

{ fwb on the left, davidkor on the right.

(lol so spastic.)

:) then we went for lunch.. though only fwb ate, =.= & we went to find my DONGGUACHA~~ (winter melon tea) i didn't know david was so observant..
for all my hokkien readers, you should get the joke xD

{ BOH ICE TEA

(wa, somemore got flavour one sia.. it means "no ice tea" lol.)

we headed back to the arcade cuz drea wanted to ddr more, and wow~ david's observant again~

{ FOOKKKK


then it was time for me to send fwb home. :) "let's go home now~ lalala.." we took 190 down to orchard, as per usual... & there was this asshole who mistook fwb for a GIRL. wl! _|_ i have his picture mans. and he's such a scammer. he boarded a bus with like no coins? and had to borrow money from people to pay for his bus fare. wahlau eh.. trying to cheat singaporean's feelings huh?
(the first picture i snapped with my new phone secretly)


so hate that please. fwb look like girl meh... i like his hair that way. =3=~ and... fwb and i discovered...

(drumroll..)
PLANT PORNOGRAPHY.
omg.

the dictionary defines pornograph as..
Pornography or porn is, in its broadest state, the explicit representation of the human body or sexual activity with the goal of sexual arousal and/or sexual relief.

you see, it's the same in plant pornography. porn is media with any sexual(reproductive) part shown.. for plants, the fruits are the reproductive part of the plant! so this is plant pornography!





& we also discovered plant murders. :( how can humans even do such inhuman things! omg... :(

moving on.. after i sent fwb home, he called me :) (awww so sweet) and we talked on the phone... until i got cut off when the train went underground. oh wells. maybe they're just jealous of our fwbness. heh. ^^v
i headed back to cck to find drea, but lydia msged me that they already left.. so i just ddred with velvet... & my leg cramped so horribly after i ddred (i still don't know why..) and i went home.




FRIDAY.
davidkor & i did the same thing for the whole week - sending fwb home. :o so fun please. initially david wasn't able to make it.. but because somebody's mouth was so big... he let the secret slip... so *shrugs* we all just went down on this fucking friday ;DD
since fwb finished school at 3.45pm, he supposed he had time to come out for a while after changing clothes. so david and i spent time looking for his new phone at the singtel shop. i fell in love with that purple k770i :(



wahaha, in the end, david didn't get it because ~ something happened. and i'm so lazy to elaborate about it~ but at least he got a new phone okays! :) so happy for him.
went to slack more at fwb's condo before leaving for cck once again. ;DD




THURSDAY.
met drea at cck to ddr after sending fwb back alone (david you pig; oversleep and didn't go to work) cuz i was feeling low. while waiting for our turn, we went to play "spot-the-difference" like we always do. yah, we complete all 20 rounds most of the time but today, :), we finally remembered to take photos ^^ i know our brain got hole..



after ddring on my feet, i went home to ddr on my fingers. i'm so in love with this song? and i managed to fc it on my fingers :) i heard from fwb he completed this song with 1 great. muahaha. what's that term..? ya, it's black flag. ^^"


i had david's eamuse too, since he let me bring it home to draw on it:) his was totally white, cuz the image on it was scratched off. yeh, i filled that empty space there with his name after i took this picture ;DD





THE OTHER DAYS.
i'm so sorry but i lost track ^^" but all i know is that the dinopigs spent so many happy hours together :) they will be treasured... i promise.

it's too late to be tripping over the phone now.

i'll update my blog later, after i finish packing my room, finding fwb & ddring. i have to share this :) this poem practically wrote itself cuz i wasn't even in the right mind to write this last night. :)
here's to you, david kor.



time - the only thing that's fair in this world
things are never what they seem; we've to wait for it to unfurl
indeed, time waits for no-one & it hurts everyone
& in a minute anything can change to anyone

worrying will lead you nowhere; only to despair
i hope you'll understand, cuz i care
if only sadness never existed, wouldn't it be good?
but it's the pain that reminds us that "the past is read" & nothing is ever really good.

look forward into the distance cuz you have to smile
stop dwelling on the sadness; it'll only continue to pile
life is short so spend it happily in hte way you know how
my only piece of advice darling, start living your life up now


the only piece of advice i can offer, darling
-dinah
12.19am, 4th nov 2007

comments:
never thought i'd have to pen a poem for you.
if you don't understand it's okay.
i understand what you're going through right now.. cuz i'm a girl.
(i don't know why my original draft's in green?)
i really don't wish this is a mistake, but i wanna know why you always stand in the distance looking at jeffrey & i. do tell please.