it's okay; let it go.. get out there & find someone.

so many things happened this week, so fast for me to catch. so you guys will help me catch :)
(this week was so petrifyingly disastrous. every night seemed to crash down on my frail shoulders..) [that is the result of being able to express oneself with such ease at this language]

oh, and

happy belated 2nd fwb monthsary! :)

TODAY.
i went to find fwb because he wasn't feeling well. & he wanted someone to talk to :) aww, & take care of him. haha, okays, so i went to find him.. though we only saw each other for 15 minutes... :) but still, i got to see fwb and eat junk food, xD
take care alrights, fwb~ i love you~
then i headed down to cck to find davidkor. & so happy that he finally has a new phone :) the old one really didnt suit him cuz it was small... and so laggy =x lols. nothing much really happened today, though i was supposed to be at home packing up my room ^^"~




SATURDAY.
helped andrea to collect her cookies before meeting her at cck. i was supposed to be at dbg with the dinopigs but uhm.. david & fwb just came down to ddr at cck with drea and i.. :) drea was flying away that night too, so just spend the day doing her favourite thing with her... ^^
ANDREA, YOU TRYING TO KILL ME ISIT. PLAY PARANOiA SURVIVOR MAX DIFFICULT ON x2 SPEED~? RAH!
i dont know luh, after playing that song, my brain was totally haywired @.@ and she did the same thing (pressing the start button straight without deciding the song) and ^^v i got my first AAA..

{ OOH LA LA !


thankyou andrea, i love you okay? xD

& my dinopig friends went crazy. :)

{ fwb on the left, davidkor on the right.

(lol so spastic.)

:) then we went for lunch.. though only fwb ate, =.= & we went to find my DONGGUACHA~~ (winter melon tea) i didn't know david was so observant..
for all my hokkien readers, you should get the joke xD

{ BOH ICE TEA

(wa, somemore got flavour one sia.. it means "no ice tea" lol.)

we headed back to the arcade cuz drea wanted to ddr more, and wow~ david's observant again~

{ FOOKKKK


then it was time for me to send fwb home. :) "let's go home now~ lalala.." we took 190 down to orchard, as per usual... & there was this asshole who mistook fwb for a GIRL. wl! _|_ i have his picture mans. and he's such a scammer. he boarded a bus with like no coins? and had to borrow money from people to pay for his bus fare. wahlau eh.. trying to cheat singaporean's feelings huh?
(the first picture i snapped with my new phone secretly)


so hate that please. fwb look like girl meh... i like his hair that way. =3=~ and... fwb and i discovered...

(drumroll..)
PLANT PORNOGRAPHY.
omg.

the dictionary defines pornograph as..
Pornography or porn is, in its broadest state, the explicit representation of the human body or sexual activity with the goal of sexual arousal and/or sexual relief.

you see, it's the same in plant pornography. porn is media with any sexual(reproductive) part shown.. for plants, the fruits are the reproductive part of the plant! so this is plant pornography!





& we also discovered plant murders. :( how can humans even do such inhuman things! omg... :(

moving on.. after i sent fwb home, he called me :) (awww so sweet) and we talked on the phone... until i got cut off when the train went underground. oh wells. maybe they're just jealous of our fwbness. heh. ^^v
i headed back to cck to find drea, but lydia msged me that they already left.. so i just ddred with velvet... & my leg cramped so horribly after i ddred (i still don't know why..) and i went home.




FRIDAY.
davidkor & i did the same thing for the whole week - sending fwb home. :o so fun please. initially david wasn't able to make it.. but because somebody's mouth was so big... he let the secret slip... so *shrugs* we all just went down on this fucking friday ;DD
since fwb finished school at 3.45pm, he supposed he had time to come out for a while after changing clothes. so david and i spent time looking for his new phone at the singtel shop. i fell in love with that purple k770i :(



wahaha, in the end, david didn't get it because ~ something happened. and i'm so lazy to elaborate about it~ but at least he got a new phone okays! :) so happy for him.
went to slack more at fwb's condo before leaving for cck once again. ;DD




THURSDAY.
met drea at cck to ddr after sending fwb back alone (david you pig; oversleep and didn't go to work) cuz i was feeling low. while waiting for our turn, we went to play "spot-the-difference" like we always do. yah, we complete all 20 rounds most of the time but today, :), we finally remembered to take photos ^^ i know our brain got hole..



after ddring on my feet, i went home to ddr on my fingers. i'm so in love with this song? and i managed to fc it on my fingers :) i heard from fwb he completed this song with 1 great. muahaha. what's that term..? ya, it's black flag. ^^"


i had david's eamuse too, since he let me bring it home to draw on it:) his was totally white, cuz the image on it was scratched off. yeh, i filled that empty space there with his name after i took this picture ;DD





THE OTHER DAYS.
i'm so sorry but i lost track ^^" but all i know is that the dinopigs spent so many happy hours together :) they will be treasured... i promise.

it's too late to be tripping over the phone now.

i'll update my blog later, after i finish packing my room, finding fwb & ddring. i have to share this :) this poem practically wrote itself cuz i wasn't even in the right mind to write this last night. :)
here's to you, david kor.



time - the only thing that's fair in this world
things are never what they seem; we've to wait for it to unfurl
indeed, time waits for no-one & it hurts everyone
& in a minute anything can change to anyone

worrying will lead you nowhere; only to despair
i hope you'll understand, cuz i care
if only sadness never existed, wouldn't it be good?
but it's the pain that reminds us that "the past is read" & nothing is ever really good.

look forward into the distance cuz you have to smile
stop dwelling on the sadness; it'll only continue to pile
life is short so spend it happily in hte way you know how
my only piece of advice darling, start living your life up now


the only piece of advice i can offer, darling
-dinah
12.19am, 4th nov 2007

comments:
never thought i'd have to pen a poem for you.
if you don't understand it's okay.
i understand what you're going through right now.. cuz i'm a girl.
(i don't know why my original draft's in green?)
i really don't wish this is a mistake, but i wanna know why you always stand in the distance looking at jeffrey & i. do tell please.

i've never felt like this before.

help. i don't know. i really don't know. i'm feeling so upset. i've never been this upset before. it's even worser than a heartache. i don't know what to feel!
HELP.

* * *


it's been a really long time since i wrote a song.. \: i'm really this fucking depressed to write a song. usually i'll just put it in a poem.. but... this is some kind of feeling i've never felt before.. or maybe it's been too long since i felt like this.. omg.. (actually i know why.. but i refuse to admit it... >.> i'm falling apart...)
... i shan't bother to fight for happiness anymore. it doesn't look good on me either.

i'm not okay, i promise.

* * *

Portrait of a Lonely Girl
image by: shamelessidiocy
lyrics by: dinah



verse1:
the pieces of the puzzle are all coming together now,
& she finally sees his denial as a light bringer.
back when he helped her stand on her own two feet,
she yearned to be like him someday.

verse2:
now she has a case like hers, & without thinking
he was off in her care, his way to the light.
ne'er thought she'd see the day where she will walk out,
just like how the previous one did.

prechorus:
i guess she finally accepted the truth that
she doesn't belong.
& strange as it sounds, she
can't help herself.

chorus:
she wants so much to feel wanted, needed.
why can she help others but not herself?
drifting around will probably break her down further
but there are some times where
choices never existed, & just like this
to be forgotten is inevitable.

verse3:
it's just a matter of time before she's obliterated,
& soon, it will be too late when they remember.
her existence so minute, so meaningless...
but this path she has chosen... she can't regret.

prechorus:
i guess she finally believes that
it's reality, so cold.
& fourteen years has been a time too long
for her to realise.

chorus:
why is it so hard to help one's ownself?
she can't keep running; her bones they ache.
complaints are no excuse;
she has accepted her fate..
there are choices, but not everyone has them.
tell me now, where do you go,
when you have gone too far?

bridge:
her feelings are never shown,
her dreams are always shattered.
she's slowly losing it, she can't keep up with everyone.
she really doesn't belong,
she's slowly losing faith,
fallen from grace, & drifting too far out...

chorus:
she wants to belong, but she has no choice
for path she has taken is of no return.
the meaning to live has changed too much,
for her to even choose which one.
is it really that hard, to be..
what she has chosen?

chorus:
i tried to ease the atmosphere in the way i know best.
wil i always be called a retard for that?
worthless, pathetic, stupid, careless..
why is it so hard to be me?
does no one know what it even feels like
to be a light bringer?
will anyone ever know what it feels like
to be me?

closing:
by the time i'm done with
helping you,
it will be too late to turn back
to find me...
because you would've already
forgotten me.


* * *

"open your eyes, & look outside,
FIND THE REASON WHY..
you've been rejected.
& now you can't find,
WHAT YOU'VE LEFT BEHIND."

nobody's home
avril lavigne

let's burn this filthy town straight into the ground, with our dirty looks & glances.

dinokor and i went to find girlf today. because he missed us so much so we went to find him. yeh, we miss my girlf too, so :) yay, for the dinopigs. we all met today. haha.

dinokor & i met at cck. then we took a bus down and had lunch before meeting girlf. the busride was so fun please. the bus was SO empty. ^^~ girlf went home to change before meeting us again, so dinokor and i ddred 1 round. we kind of like wasted time in pwp, but as least we had fun; we met each other.. & i'll miss my girlf so much when he leaves for hk.. like dinokor will miss him too :(

haha. we went so spastic today.. i didn't know girlf would like THAT mirror too pl0x. (we even took photos while we were on the escalator!)

{ they forgot abt me, : (


{ MANS.


{ & spasticism.


after that, dinokor & i headed back to cck.



he sent me off to the busstop & went off to have dinner with his friend. haha. & i went home to talk to my girlf. :)

reach out for the sunrise~!

& if you really want to know ;)

haha. jeffrey's mother invited me to walkwalk with him on sunday. ^^" so paiseh cans. almost had to HAVE lunch with them ^^" guess our plan failed eh, girlf? so sorry. >.<"~ anyway. holidays are here. \: i guess it's gonna be boring again? okay maybe not this time, i have my girlf to accompany me! :) but he's going away on the 7th. until the 12th. HAI~ i guess i'll be talking to the wall then. ^^~


OKAY IM SO LAZY TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED =.= I WANT TO MAKE A BLOGSKIN NOW.
BYEBYE.